Friday, October 05, 2007

Finding Love And Acceptance Part II

Once upon a time, I tried to search for something missing in my life.  I KNEW it was missing but I didn't know what it was.  But I would know it if I found it because I'd feel whole inside.  I'd feel peace.

My favourite place to search for it were places like Shenanigans and Something Al's (changed name three times as far I know and is now known as Blue Note).  The music was loud enough to fill up all the empty spaces in my ears, heart and mind.  The drinks were just as great and when you hit a certain level of intoxication, the whole world was beautiful and no problem seemed insurmountable.  Best of all, you were surrounded by happy people ... and they were all my friends.  Even if I didn't know their surnames.

But after a few years, it all palled.  The music was always the same... and when it changed to trance music, it wasn't to my liking.  I liked music by GunsnRoses, Queen and Joan Jett.  And as I got older, the recovery time from an alcoholic binge grew steadily longer.  And still I hadn't found 'it'.  Not really.  In the end, I just plain got bored.

Now I'm in a contented phase of my life.  My hubby thinks I'm nutty and still wants to stick with me. My son's daily development and fascinating viewpoints keep me very much entertained.  I think I've found 'it'... and even if I haven't, I'm feeling pretty good with the way things are.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

different strokes for different folks - that sums up what the whole deal is all about Ros. Some people are lucky to find love easily, or to have found love. some people are not. I am still unlucky in that department and as I grow older I grow complacent with the situation I am in and I am really scared that one day I might not want to find someone anymore. I don't want to grow old alone, but between what I have and what I can't seem to get, I might as well end up being old and alone! Sad isn't it? Beth

Roslyn said...

I always believe we make our own luck. By that, I mean, we go out there and GRAB all the fun we can get. All the adventures, the friends, the laughter... and if some tears come in the package, take it as part of the price to pay.

But don't ever 'settle' for something because you're afraid of the possible future. Be more afraid of an unhappy present.

Gideon said...

hey hey.....whats this growing old alone talk huh.....u are not alone...got friend like me you all wanna be left alone hahahahaha. Gideon