Thursday, May 15, 2008

We Are The Champions..!

I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world -

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it
-
I thank you all -

But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose -

We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions - of the world -

Yeah... I know... overkill.
But niiiiice overkill...

English Teachers' Debate 2008 NATIONAL CHAMPS!

SABAH WON!

We won we won we won we won we won....!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Malaysian English Teachers' Debate 2008

No matter how many times I've been involved (directly or indirectly) in a debate competition, I always get them butterflies in my stomach. Right now, I'm developing a butterfly colony. Complete with flyovers and helipads.

The Sabah teachers' debate team are sitting in a Malaccan hotel right now, doing mock debates and trying to outwit each other. Sometimes these sessions frighten those who've never seen such a gathering. Sometimes the wounded storm off in a fury. That usually means it's time for coach to have a coffee break with said wounded. But managed very well, such a team can produce such beautiful verbal pyrotechnics onstage.

Malaysian teacher debates are usually formal and rational ones. So everyone dresses accordingly in dark suits, strongly supported points and coolly sarcastic tongues. Unlike the Malay debate, the English debate relies more on verbal sleight of hand. Some would say verbal diarrhea. But personally I like what one friend said...verbal twitchery. I think she was aiming for 'witchery' but twitch will do pretty fine. Hee hee hee...

But the most memorable twitch I'd ever heard was a politically incorrect one, when the La Salle boys went up against the St. Francis girls and after a long winded lambasting of the boys with statistics, one of the boys got up and said,"Ah but statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital." During practice, that was the very quotation I'd pulled out to entertain them and which I said they MUSTN'T use. But I suppose the overabundance of statistics tempted the poor boy beyond endurance. Sitting in the audience, I tried to hide as I was fully aware of St Francis girls' homicidal tendencies (being one myself).

The girls' outrage lasted for at least a year...

How Do I Write A Speech?

Someone asked me how I wrote a speech.

We-ell, it's no big secret...you write it just like you'd write an essay. Basic structure: point+explanation+elaboration.

Of course, you'd need to pay attention to a few basic rules.
1. Keep your sentences short. Listening and reading are different skills. You can read long sentences because the sentence doesn't disappear. However, if your sentence is too long, by the time you reach the end, the listener would have forgotten the beginning.
2. Begin with a bang. You want people to listen to you...so you better grab their attention at the start. People normally decide within the first 30 seconds whether they want to continue listening to you or maybe it's better for them to flip open their phone and sms their fish.
3. Have a logical sequence. It's like a mind map... A connects to B which connects to C. But if you jump all over the place, you'll only befuddle people who will then open their phone to sms their fish.
4. Use anecdotes. People looooove stories...
5. Drop in a joke or two. People looooove jokes... most politicians have mastered this particular aspect.
6. Get to your point FAST. People have things to do and places to go...
7. End with finesse. The worst thing you could do is to fall silent. Then when people start to shift in their seats, you say,"Uh, okay, that's all." Ouch. At the very least, say,'Thank you for listening.' Otherwise end with a suitable poem, dirge or whatever...

And that's only how to write a speech. I haven't started on how to deliver a speech... :)

Talking about speeches...everyone should learn how to give a speech because this is something everyone gets to do. Whether as the best man at a wedding or as team leader of a gotong-royong clean-up gang. You HAVE to say thank you for coming to all these people, you know. And although it may be a simple one, it impresses the heck out of people if you can deliver one without swallowing your tongue or boring them.

The Words That Bring People To My Blog

Took a look at my counter...and found out the top ten keywords that search engines respond to with my blog address.
1. Fail Meja
2. PTK
3. Manual Prosedur Kerja
4. PTK3 DG44
5. PTK DG44
6. Oxymoron Lesson Plans
7. Oxymoron Lesson Plan
8. Oxymoron Worksheet
9. Kursus PTK DG 44
10. PTK DG 44

and among the strangest were 'wishabi', 'oxymoron for bill gates' and 'riding a dead horse solutions'.

???

Maybe I should set up databases for PTK and oxymoron lesson plans. What do you guys think? And this post will probably increase the probability of the above list being maintained...heh heh heh.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

DG44 PTK3 Results for Cohort 1/2008 is OUT!

I was just about to tuck into a plate of sweet and sour fish with rice when my phone rang. It was Choo...and he said,"PTK results are out..check the website." Never has a plate of food disappeared so fast!

Next stop was http://apps.emoe.gov.my/bppk/!

I got...ARAS 3! Not sure what to kiss yet...the computer monitor or my husband! Never mind, hubby's at work.
Yep, it's not Aras 4 but I'm satisfied with that. Now I can look forward to the next step....whatever it may be.

Yes yes yes...!

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Drive-Through ATM ....

A word of warning : The following is utterly sexist but because it made me laugh, I just had to put it into my blog.

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."


*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


*******************************


FEMALE PROCEDURE: (Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth!!!!)
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.