Friday, February 24, 2006

Continuation Of Why Am I Oxymoron

I am also an oxymoron (or is it my life that's the oxymoron?) because I am as modern as they come and yet there is stuff in my life that's *not modern*. Lessee now...

MODERN
I can't live without my PDA, broadband connection, notebook and mobilephone, those ubiquitous symbols of You-Are-In-Tune-With-The-RatRace (come on feel free to disagree with me!). I just love Simon Cowell (he is so deliciously nasty! - no, I don't agree with a lot of his comments). I voted in Malaysian Idol and Akademi Fantasia... it was like an obsession! AND I BLOG!

NOT MODERN

Yet at the same time, before I enter a hotel room, I invariable 'ask' permission from unseen inhabitants to stay for a while in the room. When I walk in the jungle, I don't throw stuff, pluck flowers or leaves or make comments should I see anything unusual.. These are all taboos ... cannot offend the jungle inhabitants.. again, unseen most of the time. I never leave baby clothes outside at night so that no-one disturbs the baby's rest. After attending a funeral, I cannot meet anyone at home until I have taken a shower and changed my clothes.

[...]

SO... oxymoron I am.

PHD Pain In The A**

Just got info that my PhD scholarship interview is slated for March. Beginning, middle, end??? *Checks calendar" Oh GAWD.. March isn't very far away, izzit? (Reminds me of the Malaysian disease; Appending Izzit To Every Statement, regardless of grammar correctness). I've been searching the Internet for i-am-not-quite-sure-what but so far, haven't been very successful. I'm interested in studying how teachers in rural schools are dealing with ICT in their workspace but not quite sure about my approach focus method etc etc. I've been informed that this is normal and not to worry about... but i wooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy....

March...*sigh*

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Why Am I An Oxymoron?

I've been an oxymoron in my head ever since I could think. Mum made me behave although inside I was the type to mess up and freak out. And when she wasn't watching, I did.  Spectacularly.  When I got older, I didn't bother hiding.  I am an unconventional person working at one of the most ultra-conventional jobs ever... where people watch and pounce the minute you do something 'not proper'.  I don't wanna do things the way I am expected to... but to please people (and cos I don't really care), I do it. Sometimes.  Other times, I do stuff the way I want to and watch the fallout.  I mean, the time I just had the guts of my car ripped and replaced with an engine that could take me higher... I didn't stop hearing the lectures till I sold the car but I had fun driving it.  My dad blew his top when he drove it (without my knowledge) and found that the thrust was more powerful than the brakes.  I mean, who wants to brake?  We just wanna go faster, don't we? But having a kid kinda put the brakes on me.  I worry cos sometimes I wonder if having me as a parent is good for Dylan.  I mean, I feed him and all but I'm LIBERAL.  Aren't parents supposed to be the guardian (read disciplinarian bodyguard controller) of their children's future?  I'm not permissive but if he wanted to be an artist and hang out in Bali, I don't think I'd go nuts.  But that's okay, isn't it?  BUT this communityI live in is soooooooo proper. Proper parents make their kids make proper choices.  Heh. I'm not proper.

The Meaning of The Word 'Kadazan'

People here have been arguing over this issue since forever but it doesn't make sense to say that a politician created the term.  Wow did he have that much power to make all the Kadazans change their race?  And if so, what was the term used before?  I wish people would come up with a better argument other than the politician bit.

I Like Driving To Work

This morning, I headed out up into the green leafy hills in my normal everyday 10-minute conquest of Signal Hill on my way to work. Man, I never tire of seeing all the green and glimpses of azure blue sea as I wind my way around the hill. So far I haven't knocked down a single jogger or cyclist .. not that I am aiming to. At my previous place of work, I had no hill to wrestle with but my drive was along the bay (beautiful beautiful aquamarine and turquoise waves) and down wide tree-lined roads. Lucky lucky me...