Oxymoron In The Tropics

I Deactivated My Facebook... and what a relief it is!

2012-02-13T19:07:00.000+08:00

A year ago, I reached a point in my life where I felt like deactivating my Facebook. I'd found myself checking Facebook every few hours, just to see who was posting what. And at the same time, I was seeing little spats flare up all over. The reasons were petty (to my way of thinking). Someone made a comment to a friend, a third person thought it was a dumb comment (even though it wasn't directed to him) and made the mistake of saying so. You can guess the rest.

But friends persuaded me to rethink. So I did.

They said it was a great way to inform teachers of activities.
So I created groups and added teachers. Later I made some of them admins. They didn't need me around.

They said it was a great way to share photos.
Unfortunately I don't really like sharing my photos, unless the photos were of school events.

They said FB helped keep friends in contact.
I gave it a go... and found myself using email and SMS more often than FB, using various apps such as Fring, Meebo and Whatsapp. And I was only in touch with less than 10% of those in my FB list. Besides I haven't changed my phone number or email address for years. If people want to contact me, it's easily done. And FB friends are of many sorts; the ones you chat with everyday, the ones you see once a year and the ones who you don't really know at all but added after meeting once at a social gathering.

I also didn't like the way information got passed on way too easily and way too fast in Facebook. Regardless of whether or not the story was true. Strangely corrections aren't passed on so fast. And can you imagine having a meltdown on FB and then being consoled sympathised-with and egged-on by FB people. Even after you'd cooled down, people would tend to remember the meltdown more than anything. So if you have 1849 'friends', that's 1849 memories.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can set limits etcetera etcetera... but I wasn't willing to do that every post every photo and every sneeze.

So, two days ago, I pulled the plug on my account.

Guess what? It felt good.

For me, a relationship is best handled, one to one. Not one-to-one, with both friends' FB friends looking on. Yes, I know there is private messaging... but that's the same as an email or an sms, isn't it?

Well, let's see how I feel in yet another year. Perhaps I may change my mind and reactivate my account. Perhaps.

Change of Work Place Again!

2012-01-11T18:52:00.003+08:00

I am moving workplaces again :)

Last Friday I received a letter calling me to a briefing for Form Six Academic Teacher placements. My whole day perked up. Would I finally be able to go back to school? The word 'promotion' was also in the title so that made things a bit more shiny and bright and sparkling. At this point, I am tempted to use the synonyms 'dazzling', 'gleaming', 'radiant', 'resplendent' and 'CORUSCATING' but that may be overkill.

Anyway I went for the briefing last Monday and HOORAY I'M POSTED BACK TO SCHOOL!

The strange thing was that after nearly three years at the PPD, I finally accepted my fate. In December, I began planning for 2012. I had BIG plans. BIG programs. All of a sudden, I have to abandon all those plans. It's so ironic that the moment I stop hoping for something, it happens. But perhaps there is a lesson for me to learn here :)

Weddings and Prudence... Oxymoron?

2011-10-01T11:40:00.002+08:00

Some people seem to think that weddings and prudence cannot go together. A wedding has to be BIG ... even if there's no money to pay the bills for the froth and flash.

I've heard tales of young couples maximising their credit cards just to pay for one reception at a hotel because they wanted to impress people. But will their financial troubles later on impress those same people? I've even heard of grooms borrowing money from Ah Longs (moneylenders who charge extortionate rates in exchange for no-questions-asked loans). What on earth happened to the common sense normally found in every human being?

What is the point in looking impressive for one night and suffering for countless years later?

What is the point in borrowing money you cannot pay back from moneylenders (and risk broken limbs) or money from relatives (and risk broken relationships) or money from colleagues (and risk losing support at work)?

For a Christian, the most important part of the wedding should be the MASS. Where the couple promises their troth to each other in front of God. That is where the emphasis should be. Then afterwards, guests can be invited to a small brunch or a big dinner (depending on available budget in your own pocket, not someone else's!).

If a relative complains, saying that one should throw a big bash to uphold the pride of the clan, then ask that relative to sponsor the big bash that is so important for the pride of the clan. If one is lucky, he may fork out a few thousand.

Then the couple can focus time, energy and resources to the creation and maintenance of a strong family.

But I understand, what may seem to be a simple Math problem is actually a complicated emotional issue. It may take a strong personality to withstand the perceived expectations of society. Well, one will need a strong personality to face enraged Ah Longs and upset relatives, won't one? So would it really matter in the end?

I suppose it's a matter of 'Choose Your Poison'. Die by 'Conservative Wedding Memories' or by 'Exciting Financial Ruin' :P

Homework : So Basic and So Important

2011-09-08T09:22:00.002+08:00

One big hassle for teachers is homework. They have to plan it, hand it out, chase after it and in some cases, get really worked up over it. Well, they don't HAVE to get worked up over it but then that would mean that they just don't care about it. Tough choices.

However, the fact remains that homework is one of the most important tools for a student to master a topic. For an English teacher, homework is about the only way for her to get students to finish an essay or a project involving more than 300 words. For a Math teacher, homework is the only way she can get students to acquire skills in solving math problems. As a student, I used to have to do around ten to twenty sums for every sub-topic before I could reach that oh-so-sweet level of 'looking at a problem and instantly knowing the solution'. I was definitely a product of constant slogging.

I have a few colleagues who religiously keep a log of their students' homework. It is no coincidence that their students consistently perform well in their subjects and in the govt exams.

Here are a few tips on homework from author Nancy Paulu. The sentences in green are her words but the elaborations are all mine.

* Lay out homework expectations early in the school year.

I would normally do this in the first lesson itself. Lay down the rules and stick to your own words. Once you are lenient or don't keep to your word, your students will lose their trust in you.

* Create assignments with a purpose, and make sure students understand that purpose.

This is BASIC teacher smarts. Are you 'smart'?

* Make assignments clear and focused.

Duh. Won't say more.

* Create assignments that challenge students to think and integrate.
The key to getting students to like your class and to grow as thinkers.

* Vary assignments. (Students get bored with the "same-old-same-old.")
Yep. A teacher should ask herself how she'd feel if HER teacher gave her such an assignment.

* Give homework that makes learning personal (for example, assignments that allow students to draw upon their family, cultural, and community experiences). Relevant learning is effective learning.

* Tie assignments to the present. (Students often complain that they can't relate to assignments involving events that took place in the distant past.) Such an easy thing to do to catch students' interest and encourage their involvement.

* Match assignments to the skills, interests, and needs of students.
Another basic consideration that should be implemented more.

* Use school and community resources.
This is being smart.

* Match assignments to your style of teaching.
This is another way of making things easy for yourself as a teacher. I like to hear lots of opinions, I like technology and I like music. So I try to get my students to do homework using technology (blogging, powerpoint etc). For those with no access to a computer, I schedule time for them in the computer lab and also size down the work according to the limited time they have in the lab. Once I asked a student to write a debate speech. He didn't do it but offered to deliver the speech instead. Since I considered delivery of a speech to be at a higher level than just writing one, I agreed. To my surprise, he did a great job (and was immediately conscripted into the debate team.)

* Assign an appropriate amount of homework, and keep alert to how long students take to complete assignments.
Keep track. Be considerate.

* Encourage and teach good study habits.
Something that needs to be looked into in our school system. Some schools (with far thinking principals) always conduct seminars on study habits for every student at the start of school.

* Provide constructive feedback.
A tick or an X is NOT constructive feedback. Neither is a question mark.

* Give praise, and motivate.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR A TEACHER TO DO. And it doesn't cost a single sen.

CNN Money's Top 10 Money Wasters

2011-09-07T09:32:00.000+08:00

Read the CNN article on Top 10 Money Wasters today. It's always good to be reminded of things like this.

These are the culprits, according to CNN Money.

1. ATM fees
    I'd have to be careful of these. Time to check my bank account rules.

2. Lottery tickets
    Luckily I don't buy any!

3. Gourmet coffee
    I totally agree! Fortunately I am now allergic to coffee and nescafe :)

4. Cigarettes
    So glad that I don't smoke.

5. Infomercial impulse buys
    Not a problem for me.

6. Brand name groceries
    Guilty!

7. Eating Out
    Yes, this IS expensive.

8. Unused Gym Memberships
    Phew! I don't have any :D because I believe in running around my house.. ha ha ha

9. Daily Internet Deals
    GROUPON!!! Well, so far I've only bought one and that's for photobooks (for the many photos I have in my hard drive which never
    see the light of day. I have to watch my book buying though.

10. Bundled cable or phone services
      I do think sometimes of the Astro packages I pay for but hardly ever have the time to watch. Time to downgrade, I think.

Facebook : To Add Students Or Not?

2011-08-03T07:21:00.002+08:00

FFacebook poses a special problem for teachers... from my point of view. The advantages are many and multifarious but so are the diadvantages.

As usual, the most nagging headache would be TMI or in full, Too Much Information. Especially information about personal things. Information is always good unless interpreted in a way not expected or not wanted. As a teacher, I most especially do NOT want this, when it comes to students.

Allow me to illustrate. And I shall use the example best known to myself : Me.

By default, I tend to be relaxed, sometimes flippant, almost jolly most times :). But I knew I couldn't be 'relaxed, flippant, jolly' at work. It was practically an imperative at my first posting : SM La Salle. The boys in La Salle were a motley bunch; mostly rambunctious, mostly interested in earning some certification but mostly in need of rigid supervision and monitoring. You can't monitor boys very effectively with only smiles and sugar. I'd like to meet anyone who has tried and succeeded.

So, over the years, I learned to 'compartmentalize'. In class, I was more strict and, according to my cousin Wesley, I had a 'scary face'. Outside, I would be more friendly but still kept a distance. But outside school, I would be myself. And this worked very well for me. The students who were related to me found it a bit weird at first but, after a while, adjusted. Wesley used to play with me a game of 'I jump off the stairs and you catch me' but at school, he ran away from me.

Facebook, however, blurs all the demarcation lines. My Facebook wall used to reflect the default me more than the professional me. But, when students started adding me (it took a year or two before I added them), I began to censor my comments. But I couldn't censor friends and cousins' comments, could I? So I restricted the students' access. Why add them in the first place, one might ask? Well, at first I only added them after they left school. But some came back for Form Six. After a while, I got muddled up as to who was still in school and who had left. And those who left had brothers and sisters in school anyway. So I gave up and added them, but restricted their views and access.

But now I'm not quite sure what access they have. This Mark Zuckerberg keeps messing with the settings. Sigh.

My dilemma is : I don't want to 'unfriend' all my ex students and students. Some of them have become good friends and some still keep in touch with me. But some I hardly know and some I know a bit of...

Again, what are the criteria for unfriending students and keeping them?

The problem for me is this. I like things to be clearcut in my dealings with my students. And in the classroom, I mean BUSINESS. With caps. But some kids don't seem to be able to handle the difference between the Teacher Roslyn and the Facebook person Roslyn. Some try to interact with me as the person they see on Facebook. But when I'm on school grounds, I am unable to switch out of Teacher mode and into Friend mode. It sounds funny, doesn't it? But don't get me wrong, I am not a total martinet in the classroom. Just ask my ex students :)

Maybe it's a non-issue. Sigh, I don't know.

Malaysian Immigration Black List

2011-08-01T10:56:00.001+08:00

Last year, I heard about the case of a lady who was stopped at KLIA and not allowed to board a plane for Europe. Despite having a valid passport and visas galore, she was not allowed to leave Malaysia because she was on the Immigration blacklist for not paying a student loan!

I'd never heard of such a case before. Well, maybe people don't talk about it... not exactly something you'd want others to know, right? I thought Immigration blacklists were only for terrorists and bombmakers. Obviously I don't travel much out of Malaysia.. heh heh.

I wondered if I were on this black list... coming from Sabah with rampant identity theft, it's a legitimate concern! So I went to the Immigration Dept (Counter 16) to ask. Lucky for me, I am 'safe'!

But just to make sure, I checked online as well at http://sspi2.imi.gov.my/. Yep, I'm still 'safe'. I also checked at the PTPTN website http://eform.ptptn.gov.my:8080/blacklist/login.cfm. Yep, nobody stole my identity to get a loan.

I wonder if this blacklist gives the reasons for listing anyone. Blacklist sounds so fascinating, you know... I sound like I don't have any work to do.. in actual fact, I'm under extreme stress. More stress, more blog posts!

SSPN So Far... A Mighty Good Deal!

2011-08-01T10:39:00.000+08:00

After saving money in Skim Simpanan Pendidikan Nasional (SSPN) accounts for a few years, I can say that it was a good decision to begin.

First of all, the RM3000 income tax relief has been very useful. And on top of that, I got dividends too! Here's a table I got from another blog.

They don't look like much but if you add that on to the income tax relief, the numbers look pretty good.

Second, the tax incentive has helped me to keep saving the money in SSPN and the account terms has discouraged any withdrawals. Well, since withdrawals can only be done one year after the account is opened and only ONE withdrawal (maximum 10% of total amount), any thoughts of withdrawing will be effectively squelched.

Third, I am able to use this opportunity to teach my nephews about savings and university. Plus, the possible uses of PTPTN loan. Of course I also stressed the fact that a PTPTN loan is still a LOAN. The way some students talk about PTPTN loans... it's as if the money is theirs free and clear. I was also able to show the young boys the meaning of 'matching grants' by promising them a matching grant for whatever they could save. I was floored when they brandished their Chinese New Year angpows at me ... and had to overcome a feeling of faintness. But luckily that was the only time they did that to me. And I suppose it was a good thing they saved their money as they normally finished off their angpows at toy shops.

And seeing their expressions when they viewed their account balances online was priceless. And now and again, they'd check their accounts..'to make sure the money was still there'. Ha ha... no embezzling allowed!

I think the best thing about SSPN was the chance to teach the kids some financial knowledge.

To check accounts online, go tohttp://epay.ptptn.gov.my/saving/
To print out SSPN account statements for income tax, go to http://epay.ptptn.gov.my/saving/hasillogin.jsp

The latest info from the website, beginning January 2012, it will be compulsory for all PTPTN loan applicants to have a minimum of RM20 in their SSPN account.

Credit Cards Deadline Coming Up In Six

2011-06-28T10:10:00.002+08:00

One of my friends got two shocks recently.

Shock Number One
She found out that by end of December 2011, she would only be allowed to hold two credit cards. The extras have to be cancelled. She would only be given two years to settle the outstanding debts from the cancelled credit cards.

Shock Number Two
She was informed that her maximum credit limit for her remaining two credit cards could only be 2x her monthly income.

In her particular case, she has six credit cards. When she cancels four of them, she has a combined debt of RM20,000. But her remaining two credit cards have high credit limits... and she has to settle RM4000 to comply with the new credit limit.

So now she is dizzy thinking of those debts... yes, she is given two years to settle them... but RM24,000 on top of her other debts is a very very heavy burden to pay. While I pity her, I also think that this is something that Bank Negara Malaysia should have done earlier.

These rules apply to those who earn RM36,000 a year or less. But personally I think we shouldn't hold more than two cards. Why two cards? Just in case one doesn't function.

I once tried life without credit cards. Hoo boy! The deal breaker came when I checked into a hotel. I only meant to stay in Hotel Fairlane for a night but they demanded a deposit of RM600! It was as if someone without a credit card was immediately under suspicion. Maybe they thought I gave fake details and was getting ready to run away with their carpet and kettle.

The info is at http://www.bnm.gov.my/index.php?ch=8&pg=14&ac=2226. This is not NEW info but I think for people like my friend, she didn't realise how bad her financial situation had become until she sat down to do the numbers.

All A-Kindle About My Kindle!

2011-06-24T09:39:00.003+08:00

One day, I flipped open my PDA and tried to read one of the ebooks in it. After ten minutes, I gave up. Age had taken a toll on my eyes. I used to smile indulgently at those people who used big-screen e-readers and pat myself on the back for using a small PDA to read books. Well, Time has a way of getting back at people like me. Sigh.

I tried increasing the font size on my PDA. Have you ever tried to read a book on a screen that displayed only ten words a a time? Go, go give it a try. If only to laugh at me.

So I began my search for a big-screen replacement. The Amazon Kindle kept coming up in the course of my quest. I didn't want an LCD screen with a backlight because they tire my eyes out pretty fast. 'Pretty fast' means four or five hours of reading. Sometimes I like to go on ebook reading marathons. People kept telling me that Amazon doesn't ship Kindles to Malaysia. Amazon doesn't sell Kindle ebooks to Malaysians. But from my previous experience with Malaysians and IT equipment, there is never a 'doesn't', 'cannot', 'doesn't have' and other similar auxiliary verbs. And when I went to one of my favourite forums LowYat.net, lo and behold! Kindles were doing brisk trade! As for the ebooks I wanted, most of them tended to be classics which were freely available on Project Gutenberg and other similar sites. All I needed was Mobipocket Creator or Calibre to convert the ebooks to the .mobi format and I'd be in ebook heaven!

After lurking for a while and following the tradeslists, I chose a trader and purchased a Kindle from him. Incidentally, I found out that Shirogawa was a teacher in training :D Got the Kindle within a week and I began downloading books into it.

It was the best purchase I ever made! I am not going to talk about why it's so good... just google and find out for yourself.

And I found out that Kindle ebooks are doing brisk trade on the net. Anyone interested in publishing and selling a book could just upload his ebook to Amazon in the html format and begin selling within minutes! But obviously it's not that simple. You'd have to pick a title and cover that would catch people's interest... and you'd have to begin selling at a low price. But that would be a topic for another blog post. And I'd like to experience the process for myself before I say anything about it. Unbelievably, many people are buying many many books priced under two US dollars. Well, maybe not so unbelievably. But if you don't have the budget to get a book out there in bookstores, this would be a very good option for you.

So what have I done with my Kindle so far?

I've loaded 33 books into it.
I've installed Kindle for PC into my notebook.
I'm now looking into loading Scrabble into my Kindle.

And according to Amazon, these are the things I can do with it.
I can loan a friend an ebook bought from Amazon. That friend wouldn't need a Kindle, just Kindle for PC.
I can sync all my ebooks in up to five devices (all with Kindle software loaded in the devices) using my Amazon account. There are limitations for non-US residents though.
I can download the free ebooks from Amazon into my Kindle, although they apparently charge USD2 for purchases by non-US residents.

How-evah... I would like to report that YES! It is true I am unable to buy ebooks from www.amazon.com because I am on a computer with a Malaysian IP address. One of my acquaintances who works for a company that uses a VPN has no problems with Amazon because his computer has a US IP address. So, the solution to a Kindle owner would be to make sure he surfs online with a US IP. Bah, paham-paham saja lah.

The Kindle 3 Oh-So-Thin-And-Light

My Kindle Now Sits Safely In a Flipcase

PDFCreator the Lifesaver!

2011-03-31T09:34:00.001+08:00

The work I do involves sending documents of various formats and extensions (.doc, .xls, .ppt, .pps, .txt, just to name a few). Within upgrades of the same software, there may also be multiple formats not compatible with each other. Sometimes I waste a whole morning just saving documents in different formats to be sent a second or a third time. Naturally, I searched for a solution. And it was a no-brainer. PDF was the answer to my problem. With documents in PDF, everyone would be able to view them.

For those less in the know, PDF stands for Portable Document Format. However, the ubiquitous (and free!) Adobe Acrobat Reader only reads docs. I needed to be able to create them.

At first I used a pirate version of Adobe Acrobat but through multiple upgrades and through the hassle of dealing with cancelling requests for connections to the Adobe website, I gave up on it. Besides, I was busy teaching others about the evils of piracy. How could I use pirate software myself? Sigh.

So I searched through the net forums for discussions on a reliable PDF creator tool. After trolling through lines and paragraphs of text, I found my way to PDFCreator. Why did I pick this one? Easy.

One, it's open source software. It's free and the product of many people's input and sweat. One of my favourite websites is Sourceforge :)

Two, it's always being updated. As of today (31 March 2011, 9.28 a.m.), the latest update was four hours ago. How's that for being with the times??

Three, as of now, 9667 users have recommended it. That's good enough for me.

So now I'm using it. Pretty good piece of software, by the way.

The Joy and The Pain of Windows 7 64-bit

2011-03-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

Last year, I began having problems with my old notebook (Dell 700m Inspiron). The old Faithful has served me for about six years and is STILL serving me but it just won't display pictures anymore. I blame this on the gazillion-MB pictures produced by the new cameras. HOWEVER, as I was expected to deal with pictures in the course of my work, this posed a huge problem for me. At first, it was only the screen that refused to show me the pictures (they would print out fine). But after a while, the pictures wouldn't even print out.

So I decided to walk through the shiny electronics-awash halls of Karamunsing Complex Third Floor. The specs of notebooks and desktops flabbergasted me. 320GB hard disks, 4GB RAM etc etc. I checked old Faithful's specs... 60GB hard disk memory... 256MB RAM... ohhh, no wonder the poor thing couldn't cope. I upgraded the RAM to 1GB. Pictures still refused to show themselves. So I bit the bullet and bought myself an Acer.

At first, I was overjoyed by the ease of use.... Windows 7 was so wonderful, all I had to do was connect a device to the laptop and Windows Update would automatically download drivers and software from manufacturers' sites. Wow, my days of digging out installation CDs were over! PDA, handphone, externals... all were installed and recognised with a minimum of fuss.

THEN began the true pain... an odyssey of learning. Windows 7 downloaded drivers for both scanner and printer in my office. BUT it didn't recognise them. I thought, fine... I'll just have to find the solutions on forums on the net. Forums and me...we're best buddies. So I cracked my agile fingers and started googling and forum-ing. Days went by... multiple downloads of myriad drivers took place.

ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH... Windows 7 64-bit isn't compatible with MANY devices!!!! Especially my Canon LIDE 25 scanner and Canon Laser Shot LBP 1120 printer! After years of having access to printer and scanner, I was now HOBBLED!

Then a friend suggested I downgrade to Windows 7 32-bit. He said he'd help. With the hope of being able to use my printer and scanner, I turned my Acer over to him. But then, I found out he installed a pirate copy of the software into my Acer! I DON'T WANT UNLICENSED SOFTWARE! I want to be able to download updates from Microsoft. Updates, patches, fixes, whatevers! Who knows, Bill might feel generous and download a million USD into my hard disk. One never knows.... but one MUST be ready!

Of course that was also the time my friend fell ill and was unable to help me restore my system. So I took the laptop back, tried to restore my system but couldn't (don't ask me why... grrrrr). In the end, I formatted my C Drive, reinstalled Windows 7 64-bit and began the whole process of reinstalling drivers and software.

What did I learn from this? If the device isn't compatible, it isn't compatible. It wasn't compatible yesterday, it isn't compatible today and it probably wouldnt' be compatible tomorrow. So now I will make sure I will check out Microsoft's list of compatible devices... although it isn't very accurate. It listed my scanner as being compatible (BILL GATES, CANON LIDE 25 SCANNERS AREN'T COMPATIBLE WITH YOUR WINDOWS 7 64-BIT!).

Well, anyway. I like Windows 7.

An Epiphany Of Sorts

2011-02-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, I had a sudden realization... sometimes a good thing isn't always a good thing.

Let me elaborate. About two years ago, I applied for a post. I'd already given up on it when 'something' happened. To summarize, I was given the opportunity to have the opportunity of joining a certain organization. LOL... that sounds complicated, doesn't it?

The catch would be that I'd probably have to pack my bags and move someplace far. If you ask me how far, then I'd say, a bit beyond Labuan.

Perhaps in younger days, I would've started planning what I'd want to pack the very same day. But now, I've gone through quite a number of experiences that has taught me that money and promotions aren't everything. If I could, I would and all that jazz. But in this case, I 'couldn't'. And that was my epiphany. I weighed my career prospects against family and family won hands down big time. A decade ago, things would've been different. But then, a decade ago, I was a different person.

Busy Busy Busy

2011-02-11T11:14:00.000+08:00

This blog sure has been neglected... but that is due to other more pressing demands on my time. Beginning October, the preparations and courses and briefings for the new Primary 1 curriculum kept me hopping from meeting to course to report. I was supposed to organise Maths and Science courses at the end of November but from past experience with the PPSMI programmes, I didn't want to take the risk of not meeting my target participants.

I knew very well that many teachers had already booked their tickets home and for Sabah, many teachers are from other districts. What many people in Malaysia just don't get, distances in Sabah aren't as easily navigated as distances in Peninsular Malaysia. First, Sabah can easily fit in seven of the smaller states in Peninsular Malaysia. Second, the rainy weather we'd been experiencing (and still are!) created so many problems, such as landslides, floods and high tide. Third, in Kota Kinabalu, we have schools on islands and in places inaccessible when it rains. What more, other districts. Anyway, I have digressed.

So in November, I had multiple courses going on... luckily, I had colleagues who could help out.

Plus I was busy with a personal project close to my heart. That concluded last month. Soooo blogging wasn't really high on my list of priorities.

Well, no matter. 2011 is looking like a good year... lots of projects coming up. Hoping for an overall better experience this year :)

And why are people landing on my blog, searching for information about debate or debaters??? Is debate on this year??

Off The PhD Track.. Again...:)

2010-10-18T11:58:00.000+08:00

I'm such a terrible flibbertigibbet... at least when it comes to doing my PhD. But then it isn't a choice to be lightly made.

Over the weekend, I sat for hours and thought hard. I had three other projects on my plate... could I handle a fourth? Especially one as big as a PhD course? Worse, it was to be done on a part-time basis.

In the end, I realised that I was being too greedy, wanting everything. But like an over-ambitious juggler, if I try to have too many balls flying up in the air, I may end up with all of them falling on the ground.

Well, it isn't as if the PhD has an expiry date. So back on the shelf those dreams go. Again.

But, guys, I still want my books back. I still want to do some research.

Back On The PhD Track...

2010-10-15T10:13:00.001+08:00

I've just taken my PhD dreams off the shelf and blown the dust off.

Next step would be to track down my PhD-relevant books from various people who have borrowed the books while they lay dormant. Hey, y'all... I want them books back!

I am still unsure about which research area to focus on (I have two in mind) but what I am VERY sure about is that I MUST choose my supervisor carefully. To me, that is way more important than the university. After all, it is the experience and research I'm going after, not the name of the university.

Farewell To A Friend I Have Never Met... And Will Never Meet

2010-10-13T16:41:00.001+08:00

Dear Annie John Dismas,

I have never met you although our paths could have crossed some time some place.

But when I heard about you, I saw a friend I could have met some time in this temporal existence.

Perhaps I could have taught your son or daughter. He or she could have said something funny and I could have shared it with you when we met during PTA meetings. Perhaps we might even have shared a cake during school events. Or even some tears if your child was naughty. But then perhaps I could have sat with you and we could have worked out a solution.

Perhaps you could have helped me if I were to spend some time in a hospital. You could have given me an injection (which I so dislike!) and made me forget the pain. You could have told me stories while we waited for my turn to undergo treatment. Maybe we could even have played cards together. But how do I know what games or stories you like if I have never met you?

Perhaps my son could have met your daughter and maybe we could be mother-in-law to each other's child.

But now all that potential and promise is gone. Your killer didn't only take your life... he or she also took away so much from other people's lives.

I am so sorry, Annie John Dismas. May your soul rest in peace. I will be praying for you and all your unrealized dreams.

And now ... when your killer is found, his life, his family's hopes & dreams, his friends' innocence & faith.. and his unrealized dreams will be 'killed' too.

Project Coming Up?

2010-10-09T07:06:00.000+08:00

One of the dangers of being a teacher is falling into a rut. Year in, year out, you seem to be doing the same thing... although the clients change every time. And if you don't watch out, the kids (and the solutions you implement) will begin to look the same and will begin to feel boring to you. Since teaching is so closely tied to my emotional state of mind, I always need to stay 'excited' and 'revitalized', which means a change in my 'scenery' or 'focus' every few years.

Two days ago, Florence smsed me to tell me about an UPSI PhD briefing in KK. Suddenly I remembered my shelved dreams. It's not easy to begin a project like this... the time must be right... and the group of people too. I'd got through my Masters with the help of friends supporting me through so many ups and downs. I knew I needed the same thing with any further study I wanted to take up.

Some of my friends have signed up for this postgrad programme... some at Masters level and some at PhD. Shall I? Should I? I am sooooo tempted!

Online Education Portals : The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2010-09-23T10:38:00.001+08:00

I first bought an online education portal (with a very cheerful bee as its mascot!) for the use of my nephews end of August 2009. One was in Year Five (he's sitting for his UPSR government exam this week) and the other was in Year Two. Never said much about it before, as I like to try something out and suss out the good, the bad and the ugly for myself.

Well, it's been a year and a handful of months since then. So here goes.

The Good

1. Instant Feedback.

Do the questions and you get instant evaluation. 70%? Try again. 98% Very good... on to the next level. There is also evaluation in the form of statistical data; subject tests and marks, frequency, list of questions answered wrongly, that sort of thing. I remember discovering something interesting. My nephew got one science question wrong.

Question : Which of the following is a satellite?

First Attempt : MEASAT I.

Second Attempt : MEASAT II

Third Attempt : TAN SAT (forgot the real answer)

There were only four options and the last option was the moon.

I realised in horror that the poor boy didn't know the meaning of 'natural'. To him, satellite had to be something people rocket up into space. The idea of a moon being a satellite was alien to him. But thankfully, he's come a long way since then and has now been identified as one of the school's hopes in scoring an A for Science.

This instant feedback is also a godsend for a kid who doesn't like to tot up his marks and a dragon auntie who checks on his progress from the office and sends demanding smses. I was quite worried over his preparation for his govt exam.

2. Colourful and Interesting Visuals

The notes are arranged in colourful charts and tables. So studying is easier. Plus this particular online education portal now has interaction in the form of an intelligent tutor. Although it was just implemented recently and I haven't had the chance to ask my nephew about it yet. However in the last few months, his focus had been mostly on the past year papers in the portal.

3. Practice In Answering Exam Questions

The secret of every top scorer is to get as much practice in answering exam format questions as possible. The online education portal had many years of past year papers all equipped with instant feedback. My nephew couldn't hide the results of his practice from auntie.

The Bad

1. Of course, the cost.

Buying the portal and keeping it going is pretty taxing on the wallet. But I thought it was something worthwhile investing in. So far, it has proved its worth in terms of re-igniting my nephew's interest in learning and helping him (and his grandma, mum and aunt!) keep track of his progress.

I was very fortunate that earlier in the year, the company had a promotion where if you buy three months' access, you'd get three months extra free of charge. And recently they restructured the fees.. phew! much better for me as I plan to keep the portal active until my nephews leave school. My son has a portal to himself too :)

The Ugly

1. No normal kid sits at a computer for hours and does questions without sneaking open an extra tab for Facebook or Habbo. At the same time, auntie couldn't sit with him for hours and 'guard' him either. Sigh. Yet I couldn't disconnect him from the internet either. So my solution was to check on his progress of doing the tests (although I couldn't check on the progress of his doing his studying online). Other times, I stalked his Facebook wall. Confrontations with him were not pretty.

2. No computer can teach you mathematics concepts you don't understand. And my nephew

had a mental block about mathematics. That required psychological treatment more than academic 'medicine'.

We had to 'work' on him, shoring up his confidence in himself and telling him that he is what he thinks he is and the sky's the limit for him... you get the picture. We tried teaching him ourselves but we came up against the problem that surfaces whenever a parent tries to teach his or her own child. My sister and mother weren't patient and couldn't understand why the kid just couldn't retain information. As an experienced teacher, I explained to them that psychologically they couldn't accept that the kid wasn't a genius as his genes should make him (*cough cough*). Especially when maths came very easily to my mother, sister. And me (*cough cough*).

In the end, his mom hired a tutor just for him. The tutor Jessica was one of those with pretty looks, razor sharp brains and a clever way of dealing with a kid who had lots of escape tricks up his sleeve. Much to my nephew's amazement, maths was easy for him too!

Conclusion

In the end, buying that online education portal was a good decision. But a word of warning, if you think you can buy one and let the computer babysit your child, without any input or monitoring from you, then keep your money. As in anything to do with ICT, the human touch is still indispensable.

Long Interminable Meetings..

2010-09-22T13:35:00.004+08:00

I've been stuck in long interminable meetings over the past few months ... so many of them .... which makes me wonder. Do long meetings really achieve their objectives?

Plus, I get awfully hungry when I sit down for long hours. Which doesn't exactly help my diet plans. Hmm, what diet plan, anyway? Since I joined the district education office, diets and exercise plans seem to have disappeared from my life.

Whither Thou Goest, PPD or School, It's All Up To You

2010-07-14T09:31:00.001+08:00

Today a friend asked me for some advice. Should he go to the PPD (education district office) or stay in school?

Well, it all really depends.

I know why he asks me for advice. I am currently working in the Kota Kinabalu PPD and I have past experience working in the State Education Department. I've also racked up a reasonable number of years in school, if you'd call 11 years reasonable.

Here's what I want to say to him and I'll make it clear that this is my OPINION.

How many years has one been in school? Two years? Six years? I'd want to have at least three years of school service time under my belt before I try the challenging walk of a PPD officer. Some people would scoff at that and say more years are required. However, if a teacher has been in school almost seven years, I'd advise him to stay put. He has better promotional chances in school. HOWEVER, there are many reasons for one to serve as a PPD officer (note that I use the word 'serve'... more on that later.)

Anyway, some of the posts in PPD are for DGA29 and DG41 officers. Such officers only last about nine years, after which they move into a higher grade. So if the boss wants experienced staff, he'll have to be ready to see these officers go after a few short years. So it may actually be smarter to take on a 'young' DGA29 or DG41 officer who's got six more years to go before he qualifies for time-based DGA32/DG44.

One should also consider whether the post is 'hakiki' or 'secara pentadbiran'. To take a post that is in the PPD structure is preferable to being posted to the PPD but one is still 'with' the school. There are disadvantages to this and there can be confusion with things such as leave. But at this moment, there is a situation in my own office where the new structure has yet to be actualised but the officers are already being posted in. Which is why they find themselves in the slightly-undesirable position of being a school teacher doing work in the office.

While experience would really help one hold one's own as an officer, a positive attitude and a strong work ethic would be more useful. PPD officers can't 'clock out' at 5.00 p.m. If an MOE officer is in town to check on things, the PPD officer has to be ready. If a district function takes place at night, the PPD officer has to be present and on the job. Hmmm, teachers do this too, don't they?

Another inescapable fact of life for every PPD officer is they are reference points. They must be able to answer questions and guide teachers and schools in their district in their effort to achieve academic excellence. At the same time, the PPD officer needs to have circulars and ministry guidelines at their fingertips, if not in their laptop hard disks. If they don't know something related to their sphere of influence, then they must know where to get the info.

Here's where I would remind my friend of the word 'serve'. The PPD officers are meant to be enablers and guides to schools, not little Napoleons.nnOne mistake some officers make is to think that they are almighty. Well, my dear DG41 PPD officer, you may be in the position to send letters to that DG52 school principal or make phone calls to that DG44 senior assistant but in 12 years' time, you may find that principal or senior assistant looking at you from his post as State Education Director. So watch your tone of voice... nobody is asking you to be slavish... surely being civil isn't difficult. Govt officers are very into hierarchy :) The schools follow your directives, not because the directives are YOURS but because you are representing the ministry. 'Saya Yang Menurut Perintah', remember???? That translates to 'I Who Follow Orders'.

Whoops, I've gone a bit off track.

But, dear friend, if you're not aiming to be a Master Teacher or a Form Six Academic Teacher, going to the PPD is not a bad thing to do. You'd gain plenty of invaluable experience. Hmm, let's see now what you can get out of the experience...

Experience in Translating Plans Into Action
The MOE and State Edu Dept are wonderful at coming up with plans. But the people who have to see the plans translated into reality are usually those in the PPD and the schools. When things go wrong, the ones to get lambasted are usually these poor creatures. That friend of mine will also find out the wonderful agony of trying to pull a group of diverse (& fickle?) personalities together. When things go well, it's a feeling like no other! Conversely, the feeling of doom is like no other, either. Ha ha.

Great Network of Friends
After a few years, a friendly officer (who is also a joy to work with) will have gained a network of friends in schools, PPD offices, the state education dept, the ministry and also, if he's lucky enough, in the private sector. When you need info or help, these contacts can really work wonders!

The Ability To See Your Vision Come To Life
If you have always had passionate ideas about what should or could be done by teachers, with teachers and for teachers, you can make these ideas come to life as an officer in the PPD.

When I was an ICT officer, looking after ICT teachers all over Sabah, I wanted them to have access to information and courses... I wanted them to be able to be up and running on the first day of teaching the ICT subject... I wanted them to feel that working in a school deep in the jungle wasn't too much of a handicap as compared to to their counterparts in the cities. I wanted them NOT to need the help of an officer in the dept. So what I did was to set up online networking (blog and group) and also a system of information sharing. Made them share one test paper each year (imagine if 50 teachers shared 55 test papers every year....). Made them share their strategies, ideas and materials. I left that job years ago... but that network is still in place. They don't need to meet IRL to get info. The net is their world. Some have left Sabah... but they are still in touch.

A teacher can invite colleagues to share in an endeavour but an officer can make a project and a program out of an idea. Those ICT teachers weren't all of them keen on sharing (LOL...) but there was this adamant and pushy officer who just wouldn't stop harassing them...and she used directives to back that bossiness up.

Confidence In The Public Eye
Like it or not, a PPD officer has to conduct and/or chair meetings, make speeches and debate points with just about everyone. After a few months/years, a new officer is sure to have gained more self-confidence and a stronger sense of self. Unless he has decided for himself to collapse under the challenge. Although why he would do so is beyond me. I strongly believe that if you lack something within yourself, you should have the sense to go out and find it or learn it or borrow it till it becomes yours.

When all is said and done, a PPD officer is a teacher identified and lifted out from among other teachers, expected to handle education programs at the district level. This officer is given the chance to show his mettle. So what he does and shows is up to him.

In past posts, I griped and moaned about leaving school for the PPD. It wasn't because the PPD is such a terrible place. It was because I hadn't had enough of school yet. I hadn't seen my plans come to fruition in my previous place of work yet (2 years and 4 months was just not enough time). But now I've come to terms with what has happened. And I'm 'waking up'. So watch out, Maths and Science teachers in KK...

Unwritten Teacher Skills

2010-07-01T17:12:00.000+08:00

Or should I call them survival skills?

Skill No. 1 : How To Be A Team Player

The school organisation is like wheels in a cog, fitted together, sometimes well, sometimes awkwardly. But STILL fitted together. Those who aren't team players will find themselves facing hard times. They'll still get on... but not as easily as when they take the team into consideration.

Skill No. 2 : How To Identify Team Leaders In The Staffroom

Every school staffroom has leaders. They could be the Loud Busybody or the Strong Silent GC or the Smiley I-Love-Everybody Gossip. They could be the principal's first cousin or the Education Director's wife. But usually what they say goes. And it tends to go a long way. Getting on these people's good side is usually the smarter thing to do. Unless you really have no choice. Then I wish you luck.

Skill No. 3 : How To Identify Clique Leaders In The Classroom

In any group of people, there will be the followers and there will be the leaders. In my first year of teaching, I found out that I could control a whole class of grim-eyed, knuckle-cracking teenagers just by identifying the three clique leaders in the classroom and getting them on my side. Why didn't my lecturers ever tell us about this?

Skill No. 4 : How To Prioritise Work

Or in simpler terms, how to recognise work to complete and work to keep in the file.

Teachers now have so much work to do that it is just IMPOSSIBLE to finish everything. So a smart teacher will decide which work to complete and which to shelve (until available time opens up.. such as during a flood or storm). Usually, the most important things to do will be the teaching record book, student records-keeping (especially the attendance record!) and the marking of books. Next will be data that needs to be submitted to the District Office or the Ministry of Education. Other things come low on the list.

Other skills are optional :)

I Dream Of....

2010-06-18T17:10:00.000+08:00

It's 5.02 p.m. on Friday and I'm still at the office. I have two letters to fax to schools (poor schools..!), calling them for meetings at the PPD. I think by now, some of the teachers in schools absolutely dread seeing an email from me in their inbox.

Well, while I sympathize with them, I feel so absolutely sorry for myself too. I've got so much on my plate that it's tipping over ... but 'nuff said. I don't want to dwell on negative things.

Right now, I dream of white sandy beaches, shining turquoise waters and the heroine of the story would be soaking inside those waters, thinking of nothing but how warm the waters feel. Actually, I am describing what my Friday would be like if my boss hadn't frozen all leave, forcing me to cancel my weekend in a beautiful resort just 45 minutes out of Kota Kinabalu. Let me rephrase that... not cancel... POSTPONED. I cannot wait.

But Then I Should Be Grateful I'm Overworked

2010-05-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

Yes, I should be grateful I'm overworked.

Because that means...

... I have work to do.
... someone wants to give me work to do.
... I have a job.
... I have a salary.
... I am solvent.
... I have financial independence.

Today was pay day :)

Thank you, God, for overworking me!

It's Teacher's Day...and I'm Overworked!

2010-05-15T22:49:00.001+08:00

The clock is ticking and soon it will be 16th May 2010... Teacher's Day! Happy Teacher's Day to me!

I was being sarcastic.

That is because I'm sick (LITERALLY) and tired from too many hours sitting in front of the laptop and too little time spent doing things that are good for my health, such as exercising, watching movies, playing with my son and keeping away from laptop screen radiation.

The good doctor has noticed that I fall sick on predictable months and I've connected all the months with either preparation frenzies or report deadlines. He has also reminded me that 'people can only do so much' and 'you're not as young as you used to be'. Meaning he doesn't want to prescribe me too many antibiotics and such.

Sigh...

You know, I truly truly understand now why so many teachers choose to reject admin posts and remain 'KUPs'.

Options For A School Leaver

2010-05-09T01:14:00.001+08:00

Every year, around May or June, I am sure to be asked by a school leaver the plaintive question,"What am I going to do now??" I will normally retort,"What do you want to do?"

After years of dealing with that, I finally decided to list down options so I need only tag them. You see, nobody can answer this question except for the school leaver himself. But of course he needs to know the options first, right?

Option One : Continue your studies; matriculation, A-levels or Form 6. And whatever else is at the same level. If part of your problem is money, then you'd have to do some part time work, such as giving tuition, typing assignments for other people (NOT doing them!) or working in fast food restaurants.

Option Two : Continue your studies with the help of a scholarship or loan. Be diligent about filling in forms, knocking on doors and making phone calls.

Option Three : Work first, save the money and continue your studies later. The danger of this is once you have felt the 'joy' of receiving a salary and spending the money, you may not want to go back to study. Unless you feel unhappy at the salary difference between an SPM school leaver and a degree holder. Let me tell you that there IS a substantial difference.

Option Four : Work first, save the money (both in your bank account and in your EPF) and then use the EPF money to pay for part time studies with universities such as OUM and UNITAR. Distance learning programmes are offered by most universities, anyway.

Option Five : Join one of the apprenticeships offered, where you are given the chance to work and study at the same time. I need to do some research on this first. But believe me, there ARE such programmes around.

Option Six : Take a skills course, such as those offered by JPSM (Jab Pembangunan Sumber Manusia or KPD). Usually you can pick up skills in culinary arts, electrical wiring, hairstyling, tailoring etc. After that, you can open your own business.

Option Seven : Forget about studying and go to work. In places like banks, you can slowly move up into management from among the rank & file. They give you exams to take and if you pass, you get promoted. HOWEVER, the kicker comes when the bosses transfer you any place they like. If you resign, you won't be able to get another job with the same salary elsewhere because you don't have paper qualifications.

Option Eight : Go to work. The 'best' work to do with minimum qualifications is SALES. It is also work with unlimited potential when it comes to commissions. When you do sales, your income is limited only by yourself. But you need to develop a thick skin and learn to be very creative & resourceful.

Option Nine : Repeat your exam if the results aren't what you want them to be. When you have 'made it', nobody ever asks how long it took you.

And while you're reading this, keep telling yourself... 'Life Never Promised To Be Fair' and 'A Quitter Never Wins & A Winner Never Quits.'

Hmmm, I wonder if I missed any other possible VIABLE option.

The Best Thing I Can Teach My Child

2010-05-02T21:06:00.002+08:00

When I was single and teaching in an all-boys school, I had my eyes opened really wide to the challenges of growing up nowadays. I saw boys who stayed back in school because school (even if it was empty) was much better than home. I found out about boys who came to school in a Toyota Prado and waited till the 4WD was down the street before they hopped onto another vehicle (bus or car) headed God-Knows-Where. But after a while, everyone found out where. I had one boy (clean-cut and such a well-behaved angel!) in my class who disappeared after a few months. I found out later that he was helping coordinate the activities of a car theft syndicate.

The thing was.. I knew most of these boys' families or backgrounds and the majority were from normal middle-class families. What happened to lead them down such thorny paths?

The boy with the Prado had permissive parents... nothing was too good for their angel. So he grew up with a self-centered mindset.

As for the ones who preferred to stay back in school, one had an abusive parent and the other had a parent who wasn't around much. I suppose the teachers became substitute parent figures.

I never found out the whys of the car thief but I can still picture his angelic face. Just think of a 14-year-old Leonardo di Caprio.

And of course, in the course of teaching, I came across instances of well-dressed clean-cut characters who offered the youngsters free colourful pills just to try and if you like 'em, you can buy. They hung around the streets leading to the school and escaped notice because they looked so respectable.

Which was why at the relatively-youthful age of 25, I had a discussion with a Kelantanese contemporary about how to protect our future children from such dangers. After months of arguing, we realised that there was NO way to protect the kids. Unless you put them in gilded cages.

The best thing we as parents could do would be to bring them up with love and equip them with a strong foundation of self-worth and integrity. Then whatever decisions they made would be guided by these principles. Of course my Muslim friend and I also decided that we had to give our children a strong grounding in our respective religions.

However, that will still not be enough. For disappointments and disasters abound in today's world. Before, it would have been enough for one to be able to feed a family. But now, there is so much competition for everything (from food and jobs to homes and loves) that sometimes I think that the youths are set up for failure. Even the kids who get straight A's aren't sure of a place in matriculation or university. Even a first class degree nowadays doesn't guarantee a job in a top company.

So what would be the best thing I could teach my child?
That would be RESILIENCE, the ability to recover quickly from adversity.

I cannot cage him, nor can I capture all the 'lions' that may want to devour him. The best thing I can do is teach him that life is for living... and if he falls, all he has to do is get up again.

In the meantime, I will simply bite all my fingernails and grow more white hair as he happily leaps over drains and launches himself at trees. I should be grateful because he hasn't begun launching himself at girls yet. I'll worry when the time for it comes.

Why It Is Frightening To Be A Teacher

2010-04-20T23:19:00.006+08:00

Frightening to be a teacher? Sounds laughable, right? But I do feel fear when I am in school as a teacher or an administrator. Some people would call me paranoid but I think it is better to be paranoid than to be in a dock in some courtroom or at a hospital bedside some place.

Let me twist a Robbie Burns poem

How do I fear thee (O' burden of a teacher)?
Let me count the ways...

1. In Loco Parentis

In English, that means 'in the place of a parent'. In legal terms, that means a teacher is expected to be as responsible as a parent for the safety of his or her students while they are within the school grounds or under his or her care. And they may be liable in the same way a parent would be, where the law is concerned.

I attended a course by an IAB lecturer way back in 2000 and listened in horror as she detailed the many different ways I could've been in trouble with regard to the way I dealt with students.

If a rock falls on a student within the school grounds, the school has to answer. Even if the rock fell at 5.30 a.m. and no teacher was in school... and the student climbed over the school fence to get in.

If a student breaks his or her leg while on a school outing, the teacher AND school has to answer.

If a student whacks another student over the head with a piece of wood in class, the teacher in the classroom (AND the school) has to answer. Woe betide that teacher if he or she was supposed to be in that classroom according to the school timetable but he wasn't.

Things really go to hell in a handbasket if the student on a school outing didn't get written permission from the parents or the teacher isn't one of those given permission to use the school van (in the case of an accident). It doesn't matter if the outing is an informal one organized by students who just invited the teacher along. As long as the teacher is there... it's IN LOCO PARENTIS!

Once, my La Salle boys decided to go on a biking adventure from Penampang to Papar and invited me and another teacher along. It was a whole day event and I had lots of fun. Imagine driving (did you think I'd bike all the way??) along lush green padi fields, stopping by white sandy beaches and drinking ice-cold juices at roadside stalls. Then when I got home and my dad (who happened to be a Nazir) found out, he really ripped a strip off me for that. If anything had happened to the boys, I would've had to answer.

2. Lawsuit-Happy Community

Nowadays, lawyers are everywhere and parents are not afraid to sue teachers, principals, schools... even the Education Minister if they think they can do so. While I respect the right of every parent to safeguard the rights of his child (I too am a parent), sometimes things are taken to a ridiculous extent.

Teachers nowadays are wary of disciplining a student for fear of being slapped with a lawsuit at the end of the week. But sometimes some students can be too much. Yes, there are procedures in place with regard to the disciplining of students. But the bureaucratic maze can delay things so much that the student will only be punished six months later. How could that be, one may ask? Very easily... in a former place of work, the discipline teacher sent letters to the parents which went unanswered. Then the teacher went in search of the house. Imagine an address as simple as 'Kg Bahagia, Kota Kinabalu.' Believe it or not, such addresses exist. By the time the teacher found the house, he was informed that the parents had moved away (without the student!). No wonder the letters went nowhere! Then the poor teacher had to ascertain who was the legal guardian of the student. All this without the cooperation of said student. And later, the teacher told me that he feared for his safety while walking in the kampung as everyone there stared at him in a hostile manner.

Even then, the teacher was worried about trespassing and the non-delivery of the letter. The student involved had been in a fight and the parents of the other student was threatening all sorts of action over what they perceived as apathy on the part of the school.

3. Trigger-Happy Students

Last but not least, the students themselves.

I would like to think that the majority of the students in Malaysia are gentle happy souls. But if you, as a teacher, come across one hostile youth with a machete or a Molotov cocktail, that is already one too many violent person to deal with.

I won't elaborate on that... it speaks for itself. That is why many teachers fear teaching in inner-city schools and prefer to stay in the rural areas.

I have been fortunate in that I haven't had many run-ins with violent students.

However, I HAVE charged at two boys who were each of them double my weight and were about to start fighting. I didn't have the chance to feel fear as I only thought of stopping them before the first punch.

I have also faced up to a young man who spat the F expletive at me in class. That doesn't sound so 'bad', does it? But if I hadn't handled him and showed his classmates that I didn't accept such behaviour, I would have been in for a hard time in his class. Incidentally, he had a problem but not with me... poor kid was struggling with problems at home... and luckily I didn't begin by yelling at him. When I asked him if I had done something to upset him, he just deflated.

And yes, I have gone nose-to-nose with stubborn young people. I don't know if it was my fierceness or my foghorn voice... but somehow or other, I have been fortunate to come away the 'victor' in all the confrontations. And university never prepared me for this...
I've come to realise that I 'won' these confrontations because the students knew I was right. It's easier to win with righteousness on your side. But if a teacher is wrong... well, students nowadays don't back down like they used to.

But a word of warning, a smart teacher must know when to be hard and when to be gentle. A wrong move may take you down a path that will only lead to more pain and trouble... if not for you, then for the youth who is probably only lashing out at a world that is hostile to him or her.

How Challenging Teaching In Sabah Can Be

2010-04-19T10:47:00.000+08:00

As a teacher, I have had many memorable experiences but one of the most fascinating has got to be observing my colleagues from other states as they deal with their first days in Sabah.

Born and bred in Sabah, I never really had much reason or opportunity to question what sort of image Sabah presented to the outside world (which includes other states in Malaysia) until I went to university in Kuala Lumpur. And, of course, when I began working as a teacher.

My first inkling of how 'scary' Sabah can be to outsiders came during my third year in university. I had coursemates who quickly got married ... it was the first time I had ever heard of 'nikah gantung'. Apparently, they could get married but it was a sort of 'marriage on hold' (if such a thing exists..). What mattered was that they could get a marriage certificate that would help 'save' them from the jungles of Sabah and Sarawak.

Then, during the briefing I attended to receive my first posting, I found myself sitting next to a teacher who was posted to a school in the interior. When she asked if the school she had been posted to was far, the officer in charge gave a large guffaw and said that she'd only need to spend three hours on the buffalo. I wonder if he realized that we didn't laugh. Till today, I am still not sure whether he was serious or not.

However, bearing in mind that there ARE a few schools in Sabah which require survivor-style effort to reach, the majority are still not that remote. In most cases, there are roads or rivers that offer hope of reaching the schools. Heh heh.

I confess that my first posting was to La Salle Secondary School, five minutes from the airport, eight minutes to the city and nary a buffalo in sight. But even then, there are people who are unsure of just how 'city' the school is. I remember walking to the staffroom after one of my classes, to find suitcases and various boxes at the entrance. I knew five teachers were expected. But when I saw a table fan (!) with the MAS cargo label still hanging from it, I couldn't help but ask the teacher why she carried it all the way. She told me that her mother was worried there would be no electricity in Sabah. But then, I asked gently, what use would the table fan be if there were no electricity in Sabah? Hmmm.

So I haven't experienced any privations in the course of my work as a teacher. The most terrible experiences I have had involved walking to schools, laptop slung over my left shoulder and blazer over my right shoulder while trying to make sure I didn't step too close to the edge of the cliff or hill. There was some mud involved and slight heart palpitation... but it was a temporary thing as I was only visiting the schools in the course of my work as an ICT officer.

Yet another time during my years with La Salle, I saw a teacher lug in a bag of rice with the suitcases. I didn't bother to ask why. Perhaps family members were worried there would be nothing to eat in Sabah. Or perhaps it may be a DIFFERENT alien type of rice... oh, horrors!

And there was one instance when I noticed a teacher looking at the currency in my hands. I could only suppose that she was trying to see if we used the same. I feel that this is a reasonable assumption as my own mother has been asked where she changed her currency (she was attending a course in Penang.)

I always LOVED mentioning supermarkets to the newly-arrived... if only to see the abject relief on their faces.

And as recently as 2002, an ex-student of mine now working as an English teacher reported having to slog through knee-deep mud when her car broke down on the way to town. She had been posted to the Kalabakan area. She also said that she and her housemates bought generator electricity, which came and went as capriciously as a flibbertigibbet's mind. Well, at least she had a road. And a generator.

To be fair, I'd noticed how documentaries and stories about Sabah tended to focus on orang-utans, proboscis monkeys, verdant rainforest, marine wildlife, dive sites and the such. Can hardly blame people for thinking that that was all one would be able to find in Sabah. One West Malaysian teacher defended himself by saying that when he looked for information about Sabah (before departing for Kota Kinabalu), all he could find were nature coffee table books and history opuses that had great descriptions of headhunters. Armed with such knowledge, he probably fortified himself with a bagful of prayers and running shoes. Ha ha... just joking. Don't get mad, X... you know who you are.

But on the whole, the teachers who were sent to the interior of Sabah have been quite open-minded and right-thinking about their travails. Susan used to tell me that on the last leg of her journey to her school, she'd begin with a white tee and blue jeans and ended up all red in colour (including her hair and skin!), thanks to the red clay dust of the logging track. Susan's lot in life has improved considerably... now she only needs to board a boat for a 15-minute ride to SMK Pulau Gaya, just off the Kota Kinabalu harbour. She no longer 'changes colour'... unless you count her bright yellow life jacket.

However, the tales I am telling belong to the early nineties. I think things are much better now, thanks to the Internet. There are enough pictures of Sabah's supermarkets and roads to gladden the most fearful heart.

But then again... just five years ago, my dad did give a lift to a UMS freshie and her father (they had just arrived from West Malaysia). When my dad drove into the parking lot of a supermarket, he noted the looks of relief on their faces. It seems that a supermarket is proof positive of an acceptable level of civilisation.

That said, it is also very common for people to fall in love with Sabah and they never leave... even after their tenure is over...:)

Maybe I should post a few pictures of Kota Kinabalu City here... as I do get a few visits from people who search for 'teacher sabah work'.

Friends That Last The Mile

2010-04-17T22:05:00.000+08:00

I have friends who have been with me from schooldays or campus days.... we've been through happy times, stressful moments... even anger and long silences.

But when I think of them, I feel a warmth deep inside my heart for they have lasted the mile. After all these years, they still want to be my friends :)

I told a friend once that when you put your trust in a friend, you are giving that person a knife, which he can choose to put away and never use. Or stab you in the back. But I didn't tell that friend that it is possible to survive stabs in the back and still remain friends with the other. It takes time for the wound to stop bleeding and the heart to forgive, but it is possible.

---------------------

There's X, who shared many adventures with me, even though there were points of friction between the two of us. But I would like to think that deep inside, both of us see beyond those points of conflict. I appreciate her for being willing to share many enterprises (haha...) with me. There were some she actively opposed but I respected her right to have an opinion and just went my way. She's far away now, off on her own adventure but we still keep in touch.

And there's W, who can be counted on to offer a solid and rational opinion on whatever topic I care to toss her way :) Besides sharing a love for moist chocolate cake, of course. We meet infrequently... but it's always over coffee, which always provides the perfect ambience.

Then there's C, who taught me that love and hate can be two sides of the same coin. I mean that in the most positive way possible... :) as I like to test proverbs. Handled well, C is one of my favourite sounding boards. And if he reads this, he will demand a debate rematch on the topic...LOL...

I have so many other friends, who colour my life in the most vivid shades.... and I cannot imagine my life without them. Which is why when I meet people who don't have many friends, I have to try hard to understand them... for they seem to be quite happy with a solitary existence. But if their one True Friend is God, I can relate. He won't ever let you down, right?

Income Tax Megrims

2010-04-12T13:14:00.003+08:00

Income tax returns and I haven't been on good terms for the past ten years.

It all began in 2000 with a letter from the LHDN office in Kuala Lumpur demanding money. From statements, the letters steadily degenerated into reminders and then thinly-veiled threats. So, like any dutiful citizen, I trotted off to the LHDN office in Bandaran Berjaya (the old office) and tried to pay.

Lo and behold, the counter staff refused to accept my money. They kept insisting that I didn't owe them any money. I told them that the income tax payments were for my account when I was unmarried. However they'd deleted that account. And under my new account, I had no debts. So I went into a small room where an officer looked at my file and then told me to go home. Six months later, I got another letter from Kuala Lumpur, telling me that I still hadn't paid (no kidding???) and that I was in danger of losing my limbs. Hmm, I'm kidding about the latter. But it was no laughing matter.

So off I went to the LHDN office again, in a more aggressive mode. After some letter-waving and gesticulating, I was told to fill in a form and told me to go home (again!) so they could find out what was wrong.

Later on, I was told that they had misplaced my file and were also in the midst of moving office. But I went back again and was informed that I had four accounts! One under my old IC number, another under my new IC number,, the third under some strange series of numbers that the officers themselves didn't understand and the fourth under my husband's account. By this time, I was reduced to begging them to PLEASE solve my problem.

In the meantime, LHDN Kuala Lumpur kept sending me love letters. I was beginning to feel very wanted.

By 2007, they had moved into a building of their own and were busy converting everything into bits and bytes. So I went again. By this time, they were able to pull up my file from the database and check my account right in front of me. Lo and behold, I had three accounts now. Was that an improvement? One under the same old strange series of numbers and the other two under my husband's account. That made me sit up and feel a rush of adrenaline. As far as I knew, when a husband's account is 1234567, his wife's account is 1234567(1) and his SECOND wife's account will be 123467(2)! Seeing my eyes widen and my face turn red, the officer quickly told me,"Oh but the second account is also under your name!" And he said something like 'so his second wife also has your name..haha..'

By this time, I was extremely tired of having multiple accounts. In one account, they owed me money. In the other, I owed them. And the offices in Kuala Lumpur and Kota Kinabalu didn't seem to be linked. Imagine P demanding payment and Q refusing to accept said payment. At one point, I asked sarcastically if perhaps I was supposed to go to Kuala Lumpur to pay. If that would solve my problem, I was fine with it.

However, by 2008, everything was solved. Now I have only one income tax account and my husband doesn't have another wife.

THEN last month, I got a letter from the dears again. Telling me to pay. Again.

This time, I took leave from the office (I was sure it wouldn't be just a lunch break thing). I carried all my files and dressed official. Somehow they tend to treat you 'better' if you dress official. And what a relief... it wasn't an old megrim. No, they have just started asking the citizens to pay for NEXT YEAR's tax return. And I hadn't even submitted the current year's tax return.

What have I learned from all this?

First, I suspect they had courses on How To Intimidate Citizens Into Paying. I imagine they are told to sprinkle the letters with liberal doses of frightening words. My least favourite is Without Prejudice. As far as I'm concerned, this is rubbish. If they are truly 'without prejudice', then why mention deadlines and further action?

Second, patience doesn't solve your tax problems. They just pile penalties on top.

Third, technology may make things easier but it also expedites errors.

Fourth, citizens hardly ever win income tax battles. They will always say that citizens should know their responsibilities. So pay pay pay!

Uncommon Sense

2010-03-29T11:51:00.001+08:00

When I was much younger and more impatient with the world, I had difficulties dealing with people who did 'stupid things'. Such as :

- not releasing an important report because it was incomplete (what was incomplete was a minor detail, such as page numbers). As a result, the report missed its deadline.

- not answering a question, even though he knew the answer because 'it wasn't his job'.

- teachers inconveniencing students about attendance at certain school activities because they cannot make sensible judgments of their own. E.g. A school I won't mention set a date for all students to come and update their clubs and societies' files and reports. So a student who had already completed his work asked to be excused from that particular activity. The teacher demanded that he attend school that day as 'arahan sudah keluar' (instructions have been issued). So the student asked what was he to do since he had already finished his work. The teacher told him to just sit in the room. Does this sound sensible???

Once I complained long and loud to my dad (one of my mentors in life), he just smiled and said,"It's because they lack uncommon sense." That silenced me.

But WHY is common sense so uncommon? Why can't people just use their heads? Sometimes some people are so wrapped up in doing things within their own little boundaries that they refuse to be bothered with other things.

I'm older now and more patient (at least I like to think so) but dealing with instances such as people with no common sense is still FRUSTRATING...

Lighting The Fire In Students

2010-03-22T18:35:00.002+08:00

A junior teacher once asked me... what should she focus on in school? She was finding the multitasking a bit wearing and she was losing focus. She found herself deep in typing worksheets, analyzing numbers, preparing powerpoints and she instinctively felt that she was going the wrong way.

She was lucky because she asked a senior teacher. I didn't ask... and I only figured out the answer for myself after about four years of teaching. To give you an idea of how busy I was, just picture a cat running around after its tail...LOL...

Anyway, this is what I told her :

A teacher's most important duty is to make the student hunger and thirst for knowledge badly enough that they will take charge of their own learning.

Not to finish the syllabus or textbook chapters
Not to prepare and grade test papers...
Not to sit in class and make sure everyone is doing something.
And most definitely NOT to condemn a child for his disinterest in his books.

I have a secret to share : when a colleague complains about students who are bored in class, the first thing that comes to my mind is... perhaps the class they are enduring is boring.

Sounds terrible of me, right? And YES I will be the first to admit that I HAVE been responsible for some pretty boring lessons.

However, I live for those moments when a student's eyes suddenly brightens and this look of awareness dawns on his features. Suddenly he begins to have an idea just what it is he is supposed to be doing in his classroom. Suddenly he begins to think of working towards something he wants...

So much better for the kids than simply trudging to class and going through the motions of doing work and reading books, don't you think?

A Teacher's Heartbreak

2010-03-19T16:30:00.001+08:00

What breaks my heart every time it happens is watching a student fail to continue his or her studies because of financial barriers.

I have lost count of the times I have personally witnessed a student do well in exams but cannot continue because of money problems.

C was one of the top three students in a previous STPM exam. She could've easily got a place in university but for reasons known only to her, she chose to help her family in their shop.

Q was in the top TWO in his school in an SPM exam.... but family pressures and financial obligations steered him away from a confirmed place in matriculation. Now I do not know where he is.

J was the TOP student in a school.... but because his father didn't live up to his responsibility as a parent, J dropped out of school.

I cry inside when I see these things happening for I know education is their best route to a brighter future. I feel so so SO frustrated because if it is not their own family that 'drags' them down, it is they themselves who make the choice. One student even switched off his handphone so his teachers could not talk to him and persuade him to just go for the course. Yes, money is needed but it can be sourced. There are ways and means.... but the adults cannot help if the student refuses to be helped.

Sometimes I wish I can just grab the student and 'force' him or her to go. But of course, I cannot do that. I guess I can only pray for these young people that somehow somewhere they get to achieve their dreams. They will probably have to go through experiences that will test their heart, soul and willpower. But I really really pray that they also meet angels in our world who will help.

And the irony is... there are hundreds more young people who never worry about their next meal or their next place to sleep but who don't really care about their education.

Finding Love And Acceptance Part III

2010-03-14T01:29:00.005+08:00

Finding Love and Acceptance

Finding Love and Acceptance Part II

Continuing my reflections on how people seek love and acceptance, it is inevitable to talk about what happens when love is rejected.

Authors and playwrights like to write about unrequited love because there are so many variations and so much more drama. Besides, such tales sell better than ones where the hero and the heroine meet, fall in love and get married. Yawn.

For those who have felt the pain of unrequited love, they know that it is a pain like no other. Imagine feeling strong emotions for someone and that someone doesn't even know you exist. Or perhaps does realise you are alive but isn't interested to know more.

It is no wonder that some are driven to send endless smses and make endless calls to the object of their affection. They know that they are probably driving the other person away but they feel frightened of not being able to win the other person's affection, either through inaction or by being too late. They cannot stand the thought of 'losing' the other. But, of course, how can you lose what you have never had?

A friend once asked me what to do. She was the one being bombarded by unwanted attention. I told her to just tell the other person how she felt. However she preferred to play the avoidance game as she said that replying smses would only lead to more drama and unending debates. Unfortunately, she is probably right.

I always feel sorry for the ones who are suffering from unrequited love. They are bound by their feelings and are feeling pain. But how do they escape the feelings? Some are lucky... the feelings fade with time. But some are not ... and years later, still remain 'in love' with the other person who has moved on with his or her life. And so, they live a life of emptiness, unwilling to settle for less than the one they want. Some people think this is romantic in some dark tragic way but I think it's lonely.

Well, I do know of others who have learned to put their feelings away in some hidden part of their hearts and are happily married with children.

Some may think that settling for one when you want another is a stupid thing to do. But what do you do when the one you want doesn't want you? I think putting your life into stasis is more stupid than finding love and acceptance with another.

Well, that's what I think, anyway.

I think if you can survive the pain of unrequited love, you will emerge a stronger and more resilient person.

The song 'Lover of Mine' by Alannah Myles... more memories than I care to recall.

Pondering Choices : Form Six Academic Teacher Post

2010-02-26T15:28:00.007+08:00

Sigh, it's that time again.... of choices, dilemmas, adjustments and ANGST.

Yesterday was a deadline for the Form Six Academic Teacher Post applicants to verify their data with the Unit Naik Pangkat (Promotions Unit?) of the Sabah Edu Dept. As I have already moved to the District Education Office, I had to contact my previous school to do the verification. The teachers were whispering about a possible appointment briefing in March or April. Hmmm, wonder what that would mean for me.

A Senior Assistant friend of mine sat for an hour, unloading all her grief related to this promotional exercise. There were teachers who applied for posts in Phase One but didn't get any offer, while others who applied in Phase Two were given offers. So the aggrieved teachers were complaining to her, asking why how who what and whyyyyy...(imagine sad eyes and upset hearts). I think (my own personal opinion, okay??) that this may have happened because a number of teachers in Phase One turned down the offers and some options had too many applicants while others had too few.

Yet another friend emailed me, asking me for my opinion about the post. She told me that her school principal encouraged her to take up the DG48 Form Six Academic Teacher post that they were expecting to be offered to her.

This is the gist of what I shared with her :

One, in the Form 6 Acad Teacher job grade, the highest grade is DG52 at this point in time. For Master Teachers, the highest is JUSA. Those in admin can hope for higher grades. This isn't an issue of being greedy but logically, if you have a choice between a job grade with a ceiling of DG52 and another grade with a ceiling of JUSA, then it is better to go for the latter. There is a big difference between the two job grades. However, if you are offered the Form 6 post and turn it down in hope of a better offer, what will you do if that 'better offer' doesn't materialise? I asked a principal who I trust very much in matters such as this and she said that perhaps it would be better to have a bird in hand than two in the bush.

Two, the Form 6 Acad Teacher job grade is a new one. I worry that it may take years for the powers-that-be to plan and implement better opportunities for those in the job grade. Right now, my honest opinion is that it isn't the best choice available to teachers. I welcome other opinions contrary to this and would like to be convinced that the job grade IS a very good place to be. You see, I say this because I have looked at one particular situation in a school I shall not identify. The school has three DG48 posts and one DG52 post. The teacher occupying the DG52 post will be retiring in about three years' time. The three teachers in the DG48 posts are about the same level of seniority. Who among them will be promoted to that post? Perhaps the dept will 'import' a more senior teacher from another school. In the meantime, what happens to the three teachers in DG48? They either wait for the the 'more senior teacher' to retire O_O and battle it out among themselves for the post. Or they pray for a vacancy in a school elsewhere. There aren't that many schools with Form Six in Sabah.

Three, talking about choosing between admin and teaching, if one likes to teach, then it would be better to choose the academic posts (Form 6 or Master Teacher). I'd go for the Master Teacher post anytime. Yes, it's not an easy post to aspire to. But if you dare to hold such a post, then you better start polishing those teacher skills, right? Too many people want the pay but don't want the job. I get really irritated with such teachers. I sometimes feel like asking them what planet they come from. But if you like admin, then go for admin by all means. There are more admin posts than any other promotional post. Every school needs admin but not every school offers Form 6 classes.

So much to consider... but the bottom line is... if I am offered the Form Six Academic Teacher post with no other offer in sight, I will take it. That is such an easy decision to make because I love teaching. But my choice and my opinion isn't applicable to others. Every teacher in this position will just have to think it out for themselves.

The last time I blogged about this, I got a few brickbats. And some new friends. I consider that part of a learning experience. And I got more information about Form Six posts. So it wasn't a waste of time.

I wonder what I will get from this post...LOL... :) I would LOVE it if someone could see loopholes in what I have blogged. This is my possible future too.

Friend Requests From The Wild Blue Yonder

2010-02-24T21:25:00.005+08:00

I should be happy....I get requests to add friends almost every day. But how can I be happy when these requests come from Mawar Putih, Duitbah Dragon, Shmily Love, Mary Mz, Hellstrom, Freddie Mercury, Shadowrunner Daus, Friday Starz and the list goes on and on.

I thought Freddie Mercury died a long time ago.

I've tried squinting at the pictures but they are usually taken at odd angles (the current craze is to make your eyes look super big and your chin almost embedded into your neck) or of various body parts (e.g. one eye, half a forehead or a foot). I've also got requests from babies (well, the pictures are of babies... and the names are cutesy ones like BubbleBee or AngelPuff). Although I didn't think the babies actually typed out their requests.

I usually don't bother with those who have 'killer' combinations of weird nicks and weirder pictures (a skull, an X, a burger, Spongebob etc). And of course, there are requests from people whose faces I don't know from Adam.

I DO have the odd 'Antz Yaya' and 'JefGilz' but their requests either came with a message that identified them or enough detail on their profiles for me to figure out who they were.

However now I have the princely number of 139 friends requests, which I don't ignore because I'm hoping that maybe next week, the requester will post his or her real name and maybe put up his or her real picture or maybe just maybe a light bulb will blink in my head and I will realise that I DO know this person and add him or her.

But till then, I'll just keep that list as it is. After all, why on earth would I add a person I don't know?

It's A Bad Thing When....

2010-02-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

... you have so much work to do that you forget mealtimes.
... you have so much data to compile that you compile more than you analyse.
....you have so many emails to download that you forget which folder you put them in.
....you eat drink breathe live your work till you can't even blog!

&*^%$#%&**&@&%^$!!!!!!

Refreshing The Mind

2010-01-31T21:42:00.005+08:00

Ofttimes I feel a need for some quiet time. Just some time and space to myself. No thoughts of lists & deadlines, no worrying, no thinking...

Amazingly, when I first tried doing this, it was very difficult for I had become so used to filling my mind with 'noise'. The noise of the world I live in... but after a while, it became easier. Some people learn to silence their minds through meditation. I do it by listening to prayer and music, such as the ones below... can't really achieve total silence, can I?

Listening to prayers or music for a short while is like refreshing the mind... taking a step out of the crazy world I live in and going into a world of tranquility. Then after an hour or two, I feel ready to return to the craziness again.

Sleepsong by Secret Garden

The Promise by Secret Garden

Food : Binder of Communities

2010-01-30T23:52:00.002+08:00

When I was in university, I learned one unfailing strategy to get people to attend society activities. All we had to do was ensure that plenty of food was available. Simple fare like sandwiches and biscuits but plenty of it.

In the first school I worked in, that same strategy worked like a charm. The boys were willing to paint endless walls, make innumerable posters and run unending miles as long as there was food and drink available. During sports season, I promised lunches and a guaranteed supply of cold drinks - this got me extreme loyalty and perseverance in sports events...LOL... I've since learned that for boys (& men too?), food is a most important starter. It's no wonder I was always broke in my first decade of teaching.

Recently a friend commented that Malaysia was lucky to enjoy such harmony despite the many different races & religions. Bar the occasional lawsuit and Molotov cocktail. I noticed that he had been attending a number of events which naturally meant lavish spreads of food. It was a light-bulb moment for me. Malaysians love coming together for food very very much and perhaps that is one critical factor that glues us together. It's very difficult to eat at the same table as someone you dislike and many a dispute has been cooled by a sharing of bread. Metaphorically speaking.

Perhaps we should have more breaking of bread together.

Boundaries - Good Fences Make Good Neighbours

2010-01-07T08:27:00.000+08:00

I have noticed that most problems in relationships can be traced back to boundaries, whether unclear or unrealistic or whatever.

Last week, a cousin had a quarrel (a major one!) with her parents and aunts (the uncles normally run for cover) because they disagreed with her choice of partner. As someone on the outside looking in, I could not really tell what the real issues were but I could see that for the first time in her life, my cousin was rebelling against the established boundaries of her family expectations. As these boundaries (rules and protocol) were the same throughout the families in the clan, the aunts jumped in to 'defend' family traditions.

One could say that the family was being too rigid... but at the same time, my cousin not only rebelled against family 'law' but she was also trying to buck social rules - hint : she could end up in Syariah court if she wasn't careful. As far as I know, tradition has won .... although I suspect my young cousin is merely lying low to figure out other strategies. Love conquers all, they say... although I beg to differ. I prefer to add the qualification love with smart decisions.

This week, a friend found himself embroiled in a 'war' with his sister. Again, as an outsider looking in, I couldn't really grasp all the dynamics in the relationship but what I understood was that the two had a problem of unclear boundaries. She expected things from him such as his help as a chauffeur (they live in different cities) when she was in town and his consideration of her and her family's needs. However, he felt he had work commitments to carry out (which made being a chauffeur till nighttime difficult) and he couldn't just hand his car over to her. He also felt unhappy over their 'invasion' into his privacy (short term was okay... but not long term) and he felt that his sister didn't have enough consideration for his own needs. So when he made his boundaries clear, she was not happy.

I myself have had to 'hack out' my own boundaries with my family members when I first began work. As a student and as a dutiful daughter, my main duties were to study hard, bring home the results and obey my parents (which normally meant following their timetable and their activities other than my own school-related ones). But when I began working, I had my own timetable, my own activities and perhaps a strong idea of what constituted fun things to do...LOL... my cousins will know what I'm talking about. My family members didn't agree and I began a sometimes-civilised campaign to defend my boundaries. I was lucky that I was more rational than emotional and so, there was a minimum of tantrums & crockery-smashing. Makes me smile now to remember those days....

Well, whatever it may be, I believe wholeheartedly that CLEARLY-DEFINED BOUNDARIES are very very important in relationships. People HAVE to tell their close friends and relatives what the boundaries are.

I am not comfortable if you tell me how to dress.
I am okay with your daily gossip.
I do not like it when you borrow my car without my permission.
I don't mind if you use my home telephone for short conversations.

But when you don't make this kind of thing clear, and people cross the boundaries, then it will just be a matter of time before something blows up.

Preserving My Inner Child

2009-11-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

The other day, someone accused me of being 'naive' and he made it seem as if 'naive' is such a terrible thing to be. As if I allow every conman on the street to trick me out of my savings and as if I buy into all the frauds and scams that fly into town. The issue we were disagreeing over was the simple matter of trust. I chose to trust someone else who was as yet an unknown quantity to me, giving that other person the benefit of the doubt.

I didn't give that third person the keys to my house... or the PIN to my bank accounts.... or the care of my son.... or the secrets of my life. I merely chose to give that person my friendship.

However, this really upset my other friend who felt I should keep a distance and observe this other person first. Watch and wait for him to do something. Although I do not know what it is that I am supposed to watch for...

By 'coincidence', this other friend is also the type to cultivate a coolly sarcastic facade. No matter what people say, he always has a biting response to make. You won't catch THIS person going starry-eyed over sunsets or skipping over waves at the edge of the beach or drooling over luscious slices of mango... no, he's way too cool for that. So cool that he's almost frozen...LOL...

Me, I prefer to preserve my inner child.

I'll go 'wowwww...' over orange pink skies in those elusive moments just before sunset.
I'll laugh and splash in the shallows with my son... when he laughs with delight, it is the most beautiful sound in the world to me.
And when my son and nephews shout with excitement over blue and green and yellow fish under the island jetties, I'll be right behind them, pointing out the most colourful fishes and the biggest... and the fastest...

Perhaps that is why they say children are the ones closest to God. They wear no masks and are open in mind and heart.
How nice if all of us could be like that... what a different place our world would be.

Attending Seminars : Postlude

2009-10-22T16:32:00.001+08:00

Today was the last day of the seminar (refer to previous post).

More gems of wisdom :)

I learned about using mnemonic devices to enhance teaching & learning of literature. Jane Deslorena Jaikol shared her experiences in teaching students of average proficiency and helping them to remember details of the story Robinson Crusoe. I know how frustrating it can be when after all your backbreaking efforts, you have a young student who writes in his exam paper that in the Pearl, Coyote was shot in the head by Mokgobja who wanted rain for his lotus which he needed to eat.

Dr Norherani Moning talked about wikispaces and how they helped scaffold the teaching of academic writing.

Eric C talked about using efficiency (E-factors) and appropriacy (A-factors) to help in the selection of reading materials for students. I didn't ask HIM any questions as I was one of his interviewees :)

During the pleno session, the panel brought up points such as :
- the excellent quality of the papers presented
- how interesting it was to see two clear categories of presenters ; the veterans who were at home standing in front of a learned audience and those new to the 'game', some of who were clearly nervous and yet passionate about their subjects
- clear evidence of a passion for the teaching profession
- sympathy/empathy in the efforts to improve the quality of education in the schools
- a good showing of teachers as researchers, which augurs well for the future
- creative and excellent examples of presentations, especially in the use of graphics and the sharing of experiences via stories, which in turn encouraged members of the audience to share their own experiences
- innovation in the papers presented

There were 30 papers presented in all and in all the parallel sessions I attended, not once did I feel sleepy. Not a single yawn..:) What a pity it had to end...

Attending Seminars

2009-10-21T20:42:00.002+08:00

I am now at the second day of a research seminar in Hotel Beverly, Kota Kinabalu. It has a title that looks dry..Seminar Penyelidikan Dan Inovasi Pendidikan Kebitaraan Bahasa Peringkat Kebangsaan 2009... but the 'kebitaraan' made me look for a dictionary and the papers presented so far has made me view the seminar title in multicolour instead of drab black and white :)

I always look forward to attending such seminars.... and this particular seminar is turning out to be one of the more memorable ones. For me, anyway.

I met old friends from so many different phases of my life.

I got to make new friends! From schools, teaching institutes, universities...

I learned new strategies to use in class, such as dialogue journals (action research by Izyan Shazwani). This is a variation on journals and an excellent alternative to e-journals for schools and communities with limited access to the Internet.

I found Jacinta Juin's presentation on learner autonomy using drama-based activities heartening because in my experience, too many teachers shy away from drama.... which is a pity because it is one of those activities that put 'power' in students' hands and which mean a lot of fun for them.

I got to refresh research knowledge, remembering the finer points of Cronbach's alfa, t-tests and One Way ANOVA.

I learned NEW things, such as 10-point Likert scales! I wouldn't like to be a respondent for one of these questionnaires!

I get to network and renew connections ;)

I wish I could go for more of these seminars...

A Great Way To Get A Boost!

2009-10-16T20:55:00.002+08:00

There are times when you need a boost of energy.... and one of my favourite ways is to listen to Kitaro play 'Matsuri'... oh yeah!

List of Scholarship Links

2009-10-09T14:43:00.002+08:00

Here's a list of scholarship links, shared by a friend. I haven't verified them (too many!). Please inform me if you find any broken or invalid link.

MARA Scholarship Programs
http://www.mara.gov.my/dasar_tajaan

Yayasan Proton Scholarship
http://www.malaysia-scholarship.com/yproton.html

PTPTN Education Loan
http://ptptn.gov.my/

The Star Education Fund
http://thestar.com.my/edufund

Astro Scholarship Award
http://www.astro.com.my/astrolife/scholarship/default.asp

Shell Scholarships
http://www.shell.com/home/content/my-en
click on 'Jobs and Careers'

PETRONAS Education Scholarship Programs
http://esu-spmtrial.petronas.com.my/

MNRB Scholarship Fund
http://www.mnrb.com.my/career_sch/scholarships.asp

HSBC Scholarship Awards
http://www.hsbc.com.my/1/2/miscellaneous/hsbc-scholarship-awards#

OCBC Bank Scholarship
http://www.ocbc.com.my/global/aboutOCBC/Gco_Abt_Community.shtm

Bank Negara Scholarship
http://www.bnm.gov.my/index.php?ch=103&pg=674&ac=800
Closing on 17th March 2010

Curtin Sarawak Scholarship
http://www.curtin.edu.my/

The University of Nottingham Malaysia Campus Scholarships
http://www.nottingham.edu.my/Students/Scholarships/Pages/default.aspx

HELP University College
http://www.help.edu.my/scholarships/index.php

Adelaide Achiever Scholarships International (AASI)
http://www.international.adelaide.edu.au/future/scholarships/ug/

Curtin University of Technology Scholarship
http://www.emaac.org/

Charles Darwin University Scholarship
http://www.malaysia-scholarship.com/www.cdu.edu.au/engineering/scholarships_ug_int_eng.htm

Kolej Disted-Stamford Degree Scholarships
http://www.disted.edu.my/

Leeds University Scholarships
http://scholarships.leeds.ac.uk/

Loughborough University Human Science Scholarships
http://www.lboro.ac.uk/

La Trobe University Scholarships
http://www.latrobe.edu.au/scholarships/
Seems to be closed at the moment.

NUS / Asean Undergraduate Scholarship
http://www.nus.edu.sg/oam/scholarships-financialaid/financialaid.html

UCL Pathfinder Scholarships
http://www.ucl.ac.uk/

University of Sheffield Scholarship
http://www.shef.ac.uk/malaysia/entry.html

UTAR Scholarships
http://www.utar.edu.my/

Nanyang Technological University Scholarship
http://www.ntu.edu.sg/oad/scholarships/nanyang..htm

Tasmanian International Scholarships
http://www.international.utas.edu.au/documents/internationalApplication.pdf

University of Malaya Fellowship Scheme
http://ips.um.edu.my/

Universiti Malaysia Sarawak Scholarship
http://www.unimas.my/

King Abdullah University of Science and Technology (KAUST Discovery Scholarship)
http://apply.embark.com/kaust/discovery/

Universiti Malaysia Sabah Scholarship
http://www.ums.edu.my/pasca

2016 Host of Summer Olympiad 2016 : Rio De Janeiro!

2009-10-03T01:09:00.003+08:00

It's official... the host of the 31st Summer Olympics is Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.

Tried to tweet that info but for the first time ever, I got the page "Twitter Is Over Capacity". I have a feeling a few million people stormed Twitter about the Olympics.

Tercipta Untukku (Made For Me)

2009-10-02T19:30:00.005+08:00

A few months ago, a friend recommended a Indonesian band to me and sent me a Youtube link. The melodies were soulful and the vocals were of the unforgettable sort. Their themes seem to center on love and its many permutations.

Any place you go, if you hear Ungu over the PA system or on the radio, you just KNOW it's Ungu. Then just now, I saw the band sing on an Astro channel.... sweet...

Lyrics :

Ungu feat. Rossa – Tercipta Untukku

menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku
banyak kata
yang tak mampu ku ungkapkan
kepada dirimu

reff:
aku ingin engkau s'lalu
hadir dan temani aku
di setiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau s'lalu
hadir dan temani aku
di setiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
kuslalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu
sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
meski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
kuslalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu

Dumb 'Technology' At Work

2009-10-01T16:52:00.001+08:00

At work, I use the Internet a lot. I email teachers info and documents, teachers respond with data, I maintain my online groups (looking after ten groups..), I check on what's new in the oh-so-many relevant websites..MOE, JPA, Treasury.... and I have come to depend on the net a lot.

Today, I found out I couldn't access my groups. The web address has been blocked because it is categorized under 'Message Boards and Forums'. OMG... it is the message boards and forums that is so useful to teachers.........

Argh... why are they treating us like kids who don't even know how to police ourselves??? They are punishing the thousands of legitimate users for the very few who abuse the network. Is it worth it????

Dwelling On What-Might-Have-Beens

2009-09-30T00:55:00.000+08:00

Sitting at my PC, I'm reading an online message from a voice from the past. From the tone of the message, that old and treasured friend is thinking of the past and all his 'what-might-have-beens'. He is a bit sad and a bit wistful. But I'm telling him not to look back...

When I look at my students, I marvel at their 'empty' Books of Life ... they are just at the beginning of a potentially wonderful life. It is just up to them what they make of it. As for me, my approach to life has always been 'No Regrets But Do No Harm.' So far that approach has worked relatively well for me. But dare I say that I have no regrets? Well, maybe one or two.

My friend (of the same age) seems to be wishing for some things to be redone. But I am not too sure if that is a good idea. Well, he can't change the past. And when we have let enough time pass, we forget why we made certain decisions. He made decisions a long time ago that he felt was right, so why is he wishing otherwise now?

I do not believe in looking back to make wishes. We look back to reflect and to help us make better decisions for the future. If we think of our past and we wish for different paths, we risk paralysing our present and wrecking our future. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. If we feel pain, we deal with the pain and we move on. No one is more 'special' than another and no one deserves more than another.

Is life unfair? Not really.

I think life is a combination of our destiny and our attitudes. It is like playing a game of cards. We get a hand of cards, then we decide what to do with the cards we get. What will make the difference will be prayer and a positive attitude. Well, that's what I believe, anyway.

The Meaning Of A Degree Certification

2009-09-24T23:14:00.001+08:00

Last weekend, I met some old friends who talked of the problem of undergrads who 'outsource' their assignments. They said it was difficult to get these students to understand the importance of doing their own work. Then we segued into the topic of degrees, universities and rankings.

I used to wonder why a degree was such a big deal. Does a period of four (or three) years in an institution really make you a person fit for employment and induction into the officer & managerial ranks? Can a certificate encapsulate your skills, talents and potential??

But by this 'ripe old age', I have learned what a degree represents to potential employers.

First of all, that cert testifies to a certain capacity to withstand stress while having the discipline, patience & sheer tenacity to see a course of study to its fruitful end.

Second, it attests to the ability to collect data, analyse the collection of data and distill a year's worth of research &reading into its most concise and benefit-laden form (hopefully!) - the thesis.

Third, it indicates an ability to work in teams (or better yet, HELM teams) as well as deal with & satisfy the idiosyncrasies of some of the most eccentric people in the world, the academicians.

Such a wonderful package of skills and abilities, eh? But...one MUST go through the course of study inch by mentally-painful inch in order to acquire said abilities. A true graduate is like gold refined by fire... while graduates who cheated their way through their course have only cheated themselves out of this refining of self.

To people wise in the management of people, such half-baked graduates stand out like a sore blister. In the teaching profession, such half-cooked graduates go on to create other half-cooked versions of themselves.

Very sad when you think of it :(

Breaking The Vocal Ice

2009-09-23T21:13:00.002+08:00

Teaching English in Sabah, Malaysia is a major challenge. If only because some of the students won't open their mouths and say a single word in English. When you ask why, they grin shyly and say,"Malu..." (I'm too shy...) There are also contemporaries who make fun of them if they speak English or worse, accuse them of showing off.

So how does an English teacher break the vocal ice? Well, if you're creative and you're open to all sorts of ideas... there's PLENTY you can do!

Exempli Gratia..

a) Make them pronounce the words or phrases displayed on the whiteboard or flash cards.
b) Read! Poems, articles, speeches, ads, labels...whatever!
c) Do jazz-chants.
d) Sing karaoke songs!
e) Do choral speaking in class.
f) Tell stories in relays (e.g. story chains)

And here is one lesson I carried out with my Form Sixes :

I presented one poem by Edwin Morgan in class (with a reasonably solemn face) and after the class had recovered their composure, I made them write their own (AND present it!)

Before you say that YOUR students cannot write poems. I tell you they CAN!

Click here to read the poem by Edwin Morgan. I dare you to do this in class...but first, a word of warning : practise at home before you bring it to the classroom. And keep a straight face.

Number One Skill For A Teacher : Persuading!

2009-09-19T11:11:00.001+08:00

And the best way to learn this is by getting involved in debating! Yeah, I'm a bit of a debate fan...:P Some call me a fanatic. Fan, fanatic, what's the difference..only four letters..heh heh heh...

I always tell my students that the most important skill in life for them is the ability to speak because it is through speaking that you convey information, opinions, ideas, arguments... in fact, it is through speaking that you show people WHO YOU ARE. Some people say the window through the soul is the eyes...yes, that is true but most people only get to 'see' your eyes after they have heard your voice.

For teachers, their speaking is integral to their job specification for how can they convey information and elicit response if they cannot speak? I am sure there are people out there who are unable to speak but are still able to teach...however, these are very rare cases and these teachers are probably very exceptional people working in very small groups with special tools.

As a teacher who has been in service for 17 years, I have found that my most essential tool is my voice, at varied decibel levels and degrees of warmth (or frost!). It took me a while but I learned to 'fine tune' my control of my voice so as to be able to control a group of people and most importantly, to persuade.

Kids nowadays aren't like students twenty or even ten years ago. They no longer swallow concepts and information the way they used to. Teachers have had to change their teaching styles from Lord of The Classroom (I Talk, You Memorize) to Politician of The Constituency (I Persuade, You Decide To Accept Or Not). I use the term 'constituency' because sometimes when I enter class, the group dynamics FEEL like a constituency's..:D

When I first started coaching people in debate, I found that as they gained more confidence in speaking up and speaking out, their personalities also began to shine brighter. Some were already confident individuals (it takes a lot of tongue-biting gumption to stand on a stage with nothing but your brain and tongue..hahaha..) and learning how to argue only enhanced their package of skills. However others who seemed to be 'invisible' before (in the group dynamics sense) suddenly became visible. This naturally enhanced their ability to pull people and to persuade people.

Where is such an ability more important than in the classroom? But when as I walk through schools and classrooms, I see so many teachers who haven't learned to harness their most important tool : their voice. So many of them have so much information to impart but they aren't as effective as they could be because of the way they present that info.

Why aren't there speaking classes in university??? Not the normal English Language speaking class.... but ones which are geared towards preparing teachers to be the best presenter they can be?

Teachers' Dilemma : To Be In Admin or To Be Academic Teachers

2009-09-16T13:56:00.000+08:00

The first time news came of promotional posts for Form Six teachers was in December 2007. That excited so many people... and then news came again of Master Teacher posts up for the taking. In Sabah, anyway. Promotional exercises came fast and furious and forms were being filled in by every teacher. There were even cases of teachers filling in forms because they saw their friends filling in forms and they were afraid of being left behind.

I remember when I was a DG44 Senior Assistant (Penolong Kanan) in school and there was an opportunity to get a DG48 post as a Form Six Academic Teacher. I waffled for two weeks and finally gave in to the fear of being left behind and FILLED IN THE FORM! Like so many other of my compatriots.

And the result is... so many of my Senior Assistant friends are now stepping out of their administrative posts and taking up DG48 posts as Master Teachers or Form Six Academic Teachers. Some are happy as they have been buckling under the stresses of administrative duties or they are teachers at heart and only took up the admin post as it was the only promotion opportunity that came their way. However, some are unhappy (deep inside) as they LIKE the admin work but see no other opportunity of getting the DG48 promotion other than taking up the Master Teacher or Form 6 Acad Teacher post. And when you have been in the position of making decisions for the whole school, to lose that 'power' can be deflating.

A friend Lady J is presently pondering her choices. She is currently Senior Assistant in a school and doing a good job. She has just been offered a DG44 Master Teacher post backdated to the same date as her DG44 promotion. So whichever post she takes up, it would be the same for her. However friends are telling her that the Master Teacher post would be a better choice as in three years she can apply for a DG48 Master Teacher post (one of the special privileges of Master Teachers). It's considered the fastest track for a teacher's career. Her problem is that she has developed an affinity for admin work. And I can see that she is good at what she does.

When she asked me what she should do, I couldn't answer. She's the only one who can decide.

But if she chooses the Master Teacher post, I think it will be a loss to the Sabah pool of 'pelapis'. All these posts being given to so many senior teachers are playing havoc with the succession planning of the state....

But if you're a junior teacher, this can only mean good news for you, right? You'll go up the ladder faster.... especially if you're interested in admin.

I'll probably face a similar dilemma within the next few months... wonder how 'bad' my dilemma will be. Well, if I'm only offered one DG48 post, it's going to be a no-brainer, right?

Friends That 'Care About You'

2009-09-12T08:54:00.001+08:00

Was reading a book this morning...and one statement caught my attention. The author says never to spend time with people who make negative remarks, especially those who do it 'for your own good' and who 'care about you'.

Old advice but I keep 'failing' to heed it in the name of friendship.

Just last week, a friend asked me so solicitously how I was doing at work or in my personal life. I replied that I was doing okay, upon which she got an uncertain look on her face and looked as if she was thinking hard. Naturally, I asked her if anything was wrong.

What happened next was so typical.

She said,"Well, So-And-So so said to me... oh no, I shouldn't say this."

I took the bait and urged her to tell me. Which she did and straightaway told me to forget it.

Hah, do you think I can forget it? It is like a stone in my shoe. And I feel like such a stupid fool for this is what this friend does to me on a regular basis. She likes to tell me things because she is 'worried for me'.

I think the next time she says that, I will say,"No, don't tell me." and change topic. Some lessons take such a long time to learn...:(

Malaysian School Term Timetable 2010

2009-09-11T20:25:00.000+08:00

Hooray the School Term Timetable is out!

PERINCIAN PERSEKOLAHAN MENGIKUT PENGGAL
KUMPULAN B : Sekolah-sekolah di Negeri Perlis, Pulau Pinang, Perak, Selangor, Negeri Sembilan, Melaka, Johor, Pahang, Sabah, Sarawak, Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur, Labuan & Putrajaya
TAHUN 2010

PENGGAL	MULA PERSEKOLAHAN	AKHIR PERSEKOLAHAN	JUMLAH HARI

	04.01.2010	29.01.2010	20
	01.02.2010	26.02.2010	20
	01.03.2010	12.03.2010	10

	CUTI PERTENGAHAN PENGGAL 1
1	13.03.2010	21.03.2010	9

	22.03.2010	31.03.2010	8
	01.04.2010	30.04.2010	22
	03.05.2010	31.05.2010	21
	01.06.2010	04.06.2010	4

	CUTI PERTENGAHAN TAHUN
2	05.06.2010	20.06.2010	16

	21.06.2010	30.06.2010	8
	01.07.2010	30.07.2010	22
	02.08.2010	31.08.2010	22
	01.09.2010	03.09.2010	3

	CUTI PERTENGAHAN PENGGAL 2
	04.09.2010	12.09.2010	9

	13.09.2010	30.09.2010	14
	01.10.2010	29.10.2010	21
	01.11.2010	19.11.2010	15

	CUTI AKHIR TAHUN
	20.11.2010	02.01.2011	44
			288

Jumlah Hari Persekolahan Termasuk Cuti Am			210
Jumlah Hari Cuti Penggal			78

There Is Never Any Justification For Poison

2009-08-31T12:43:00.001+08:00

If you have nothing good to say, then don't say anything at all.

I don't know who said that but I believe in it. Not that I always succeed in staying true to the basic premise in that sentence, but I try.

I have a friend who does many things in order to be true to herself. Not everyone agrees with what she does but life's like that, isn't it? However the latest stage of her life is to find salvation in a religion anathema to her family members. And so they heap blame and vitriolic poison on her hapless shoulders. Everything that goes wrong in their clan is blamed on her. What utterly idiotic logic...

But she sits there and TAKES it. I tell her to just get up and leave. And she just sits there and takes it.

I remain her friend and I get some of the poison as well. What do they expect me to do...? Stand with them and 'stone' her?? Well, I think these righteous people should pay heed to these words:

John 8 : 7 He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone...

If even family members cannot be kind to each other and hurl poisonous words to hurt others (even knowing that their words cannot change anything), then it is no wonder our world is full of hurt and sorrow.

There is NEVER any justification for hurting other people, especially when harming them does not bring any productive results. I tell myself that perhaps the relative herself has too much poison within... but that is not an excuse, is it?

Dealing With People In Our Lives

2009-08-27T14:31:00.000+08:00

On the net, there are many things that get circulated and some of these are motivational stories. I was reading the story of The Wooden Bowl one day (for the umpteenth time!) and it never fails to surprise me how some people never realize that when they mistreat their parents, their own little children are watching them and 'learning' how to treat THEM when they get old. Poetic justice, some may say but I just think it is sad.

However at the end of The Wooden Bowl, someone tagged on that you can learn a lot about people by the way they react to a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage and a tangle of Christmas lights.

I thought of someone I love very much and laughed. For he thinks rainy days are times to have a good sleep, he is super patient with the elderly, he can scream bloody murder if anyone dares to lose his luggage and he would probably end up flinging the tangled Christmas lights at the wall & buying new ones (so far none of our Christmas lights have dared to tangle themselves up).

I'm so glad I have him....:)

Asian Schools Football Under-15 Championships Farewell Dinner

2009-08-20T17:53:00.004+08:00

Attended the ASFF Under 15 2009 Farewell Dinner at Palace Hotel tonight. Well, actually I emceed the function together with Henry N... so, yeah, that qualifies as having attended the function.

I am feeling happy about it because things generally went well and the evening ended on a high note. The food looked good ... although emcees hardly ever get the chance to eat (no time and no appetite!). I just assumed the food tasted good based on the empty plates heaped on the tables.

Started the evening with a multimedia presentation (recap of the championship events), moved on to the usual speech of farewell and handing-out of certificates of participation & appreciation, dinner, songs and dance by the Sabah College singers and dancers (I thought Abd Khareez did a great rendition of Hello Beautiful!), exchange of souvenirs among the contingents.... and CONTINGENT TALENTINE!

I wasn't expecting much, considering that the contingents came to play footie...but I found myself thoroughly entertained!

The Thais did a kick boxing routine... males ALWAYS love a display of testosterone...and so did I!

The Bruneians sang a love song with lots of hand clapping and Param Pam Pam! Such cuties...

The guys from Sri Lanka sang a love song...awwww... and also did some dance routines...they looked like they were having a ball onstage!

The Macao contingent sang Cantonese songs about friendship and love, complete with lights and hand-waving. They even handed out the little lights to certain members of the audience to join in the fun!

The Chinese did a martial arts routine to Zen-like music...looked like tai chi ... reminded me of cranes in slow motion.... did I mention these kids under fifteen years of age were TALL???

The Singaporeans did an updated 60's style dance routine....really cool looking steps... looked like a version of modern line dancing....but they generated a LOT of buzz...

Thanks to Eric for this pic..!

The Indonesians did a song performance accompanied by two of them playing the guitar and one enterprising young chap doing solo dance routines.

Aaaaand the Malaysians did a CHICKEN DANCE! This classic dance for group dynamics was just the right ending to a great night... especially when the other contingents were invited to go onstage for a second round of the Chicken Dance. The kids just rushed onstage and had a ball!

A perfect ending to a perfect day....
The contingents went on a city tour ... no rain for once and there were blue skies, white puffs of cloud and turquoise seas.... just the right combination for a day out with the English teacher-tour guides :)

Forgive the blurry pics... my camera couldn't handle the fast moves...LOL...

My Son And His Homework

2009-08-12T21:32:00.003+08:00

My son's only six but he already grapples with homework every night. His teacher gives him two sentences every day to copy out five times; one in English and another in Chinese...or Malay and Chinese. Tonight he has to do 'The weather is fine." and also ' ~&\%$*@~' Sorry ah, I don't know how to read Chinese characters.

Besides homework, he has also learned the skill of procrastination.

Mummy, I'm thirsty. Homework cannot be done until he gets a drink.
Mummy, it's hot. Mummy switches on the fan.
Mummy, got cheese? Mummy looks at son and walks to the kitchen to find a slice of cheese.
Mummy, I want the cheese cut in triangles. Mummy finds a knife and cuts cheese in triangles.
Mummy, I want eraser. Mummy asks where his eraser went. He says already gone.

This happens every night. With varying differences in his requests.
Mummy is now an expert in perfect cheese triangles, optimum fan angles and keeping a supply of erasers and sharpeners.

The Marketability of TESL Grads

2009-08-12T20:31:00.001+08:00

Today I was on the phone, calling up English teachers I knew (and didn't know!) to help out during an international event in my city. It wasn't a difficult task for the teachers...all they had to do was become tour guides to Kota Kinabalu. Qualification? Ability to speak English well, cheerful personality and proactive mindset.

It wasn't the first time I've been asked to get English teachers together to do something not related to English teaching. English teachers tend to have a reputation for being willing to do all sorts of stuff (er...can I read that as being creative?) and bundling in lots of loud laughter in the process of doing the job.

I've noticed that TESL grads are extremely marketable in my part of the world. Quite a number of my TESL buddies have 'abandoned' the MOE in search of greener pastures elsewhere. One even found an employer willing to pay off her substantial bond to the government! A corporate friend of mine told me that these grads were sought after because they were proficient in English (lingua franca of the world!) and an education degree normally meant such grads were able to speak in public, prepare materials, conduct training and organize events. Most definitely a strategic asset to any organization.

Of course it's not fair to say that other optionists aren't as 'good'... but most would agree with me when I say that TESL people normally stand out in any school. It's so easy to pick them out...they're either a bunch creating havoc in a room somewhere, people dressed in unusual clothing ;) or those with a sharp dress sense.

I Survived Emceeing The Asian Schools Football U15 Championships Welcome Dinner!

2009-08-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Palace Hotel. All I can say is that I survived emceeing the ASFF Welcome Dinner...just.

Anybody who has ever been an emcee knows what it's like. You prepare for all eventualities and OTHER eventualities happen. But I suppose I should be happy because on the whole, the most important things took place according to plan, as listed below.

1) The VVIP gave his speech and we didn't mispronounce or miss important parts of his name or post.
2) The dinner began on time (despite the microphone hiccup!) and ended waaaaay ahead of time...hooray for us!
3) The right tokens of appreciation went to the right VIPs.
4) The cultural performances ended on a high note, Sayang Kinabalu sung by Asmin Mudin its composer.

I won't mention the hiccups because no-one seemed to notice except for those who planned the dinner and of course, the ones who emceed the function...LOL....

The Sri Lanka footballers sat next to us and seemed to be amused, watching Henry and I trying our best to coordinate events with the sound technician, the performance people and the floor manager while keeping our cool selves together and looking elegant. Although I did sort of teeter on losing my cool when the microphones went dead and when I made faces at the technician, he began by flipping buttons and ended up pulling at wires under his consoles. Most frightening sight...SERIOUSLY. I was imagining a night without the use of microphones... was I going to shout? Or use hand signals? Oh the horror of it...! But luckily, sound was restored just in the nick of time.

The loudest table seemed to be the Bruneian footballers. Perhaps because one or two of the performances were Brunei :) National feeling was running high at their table.

And I didn't realize that boys under 15 years of age were so tall....especially the Chinese.

Wonder what will be in store during the Farewell Dinner. Yes, I'll be emceeing that one too. But with Henry as a partner, I'm not worried. The best partner an emcee can have is one who keeps his cool no matter what and laughs at just the right times. Oh and says,"Let's have coffee!" when things get a bit too tense!

Asian Schools Football Federation (ASFF) Under-15 Championships 2009

2009-08-08T21:14:00.001+08:00

Last Friday, I attended a meeting for the Asian Schools Football Federation (ASFF) Under-15 Championships taking place in Kota Kinabalu from the 12th to the 18th of August. One of the main issues discussed was Influenza A H1N1. While the officials were worried about the pandemic, they were focusing more on how to handle the issue. No cancelling of the championship ... :)

I'm one of four emcees tasked with handling some of the functions during the championship so it should be pretty interesting, watching the goings-on. Looked like the emcees will be given quite a free hand, bar the usual Malaysian protocol rules. I like this aspect of being an emcee using the English language... Malay language emceeing has too many rules! Hmm, should I be getting worried....naaaah, don't think so.

So far, only ten countries are taking part, braving the pandemic...LOL... Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Vietnam, Macao, Singapore, Brunei, China, Thailand, the Philippines and of course, Malaysia! Hmm, not too sure about the Philippines though.... well, they'll turn up when they'll turn up!

Misery Loves Company...And Isn't That Great?

2009-08-03T22:13:00.001+08:00

Today I was miserable.

I woke up, feeling as if I had a Sword of Damocles hanging over my head and was so sure that the day was just going to get worse. Which naturally it did. Things didn't go the way they were supposed to, discussions went from bad to worse and things pretty much degenerated to the point where the aircon was too strong, the coffee was too bitter and the CARPET WAS TOO BLUE!

I just wanted to drag my useless and unproductive body home, find some pillows and bury my head out of sight until Monday melted into Tuesday.

But of course I logged into the net first. First person I met online patiently 'listened' as I typed all my grievances out. After an hour, I felt much better. Then I went into Facebook and naturally, since misery loves company, I changed my status to ' had an awful Monday.'

Almost instantly, friends and cousins began asking why, sending teddy bears, Jesuses and commiserated with me. They didn't allow me to be miserable. What sweethearts they were...

Yesterday, someone (I forgot who) proclaimed the Internet and Facebook to be bad for you. Well, depends actually. Not if you're miserable :)

The Right Reason To Become A Teacher

2009-08-01T16:03:00.000+08:00

I was reading a friend's blog post where he expressed his frustration with teachers who just didn't care.

It is sad to meet such teachers as actually they are suffering inside. Either they have forgotten the magic of teaching and seeing the light of knowledge in their students' eyes or they never really knew that magic at all. But then why are they in the teaching world at all? Teaching is a VOCATION, which means it is a career you are called to. Something you have a need to do, a strong inclination towards.

For me, to teach is life. I MUST teach, I NEED to teach...otherwise I feel dead inside. When I teach something new and a student says,"Oh wow...I didn't know that...", my day is made. If I teach and I see a bored expression on a student's face, I cannot rest until I find out why that student is bored and how to dispel that look. If you are a teacher and you're reading this and you do not understand, then you should ask yourself why on earth you are torturing yourself in a career that doesn't fulfil you.

But sadly, too many people will say,"I need to earn money." or "Well, I can't find a job elsewhere." And BECAUSE there are many people like that in schools, they feel it is all right to have such an attitude. They do not even feel embarrassed to admit such a thing. Safety in numbers, you see.

You should teach because you like imparting knowledge to young people and you want to build the right sort of future for your country. So if you have been teaching half-heartedly for the past twenty years and you don't like the current crop of leaders we have in our country right now, perhaps you should think of what share of the blame belongs to you.

Bond University's High School Mooting Competition 2009

2009-07-28T12:43:00.005+08:00

And the winner this year is....Sabah Tshung Tsin Secondary School of Malaysia!

It may seem like an ordinary international competition win to some but to those in the know, this victory almost didn't happen. First of all, the level of competition was pretty high, with the STTSS students having to beat other equally-hungry schools in Sabah. Out of 105 teams all over the world, STSS was among the handful that made it to the finals. Second, there was an advisory issued by the Ministry of Education, barring all student travel out of Malaysia due to the H1N1 flu epidemic. Teachers and parents had to kick up a blizzard of letters and phone calls before permission was granted.

For the team to win, after all the stress and shocks they suffered, it must be pure ecstasy.

To Averyl Bachi, Annabelle Yap Yang Ling and Jonathan Lee Yung Sheng, this will be something they will never forget :)

I asked Averyl to tell me about the competition and this is what she wrote :

In this competition, the organizer will give your school a case to read and a stack of related cases for you to back up your argument. They will decide whether you're the appellant or the respondent, and they will give you 2 or 3 grounds to fight on. A lawyer's help is really needed, because reading the related case is really confusing. Teachers can help to explain the English and lawyers can help with the arguments.

The regional round is in Kota Kinabalu, competing with around 15 schools. The winner will go to Australia to compete with the Australian schools.

The organizer in KK is A.C. Services (Mr. Anthony Lim).

At first it was kind of difficult, because when you read the cases and you don’t get any of it, you'll panic. It was like Greek to me at first. So you need to read it a few times. Knowing the facts of the case is important too, because in the middle of presenting your argument, the judges will cut in and ask questions, such as "Why do you think it can’t be done this way?" or "Why is he wrong?"

So it's important to anticipate what questions they're going to ask and have the answers ready. That was the hard part, not knowing how to answer the questions and thinking on your feet.

The best part was ... WINNING! and thinking "All that hard work finally paid off!"

The second best thing was the prizes! For the regionals, they gave the team RM1500 and for finals, AUS300! Annabelle Yap won Best Advocate and her prize is a 40% scholarship to study law in Bond University.

For those who would like to know more about this competition, here's the link.

Thank God For Those Who Bring Magic Into Our Lives

2009-07-28T10:38:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, something suddenly appears and causes me to stop and check myself. Last Friday at a hall, as I was silently cursing under my breath, dragging chairs hither and yon, a hauntingly simple melody caught my attention. The lyric 'syukuri apa yang ada, hidup adalah anugerah' seemed to freeze my thoughts.

Be thankful for what you have, life is a gift...

Suddenly all the upset and frustration just seemed to be suspended for the short while the melody was played. And for a short while, I was bespelled by a simple tune and a haunting voice.

What would our world be without talents like this to bring enchantment into our hectic lives? Then I thought of the massive talents that have recently passed away - their losses are not of mere men and women, but of magic and imagination.

So the next time I walk down a school corridor and see a boy strumming on his guitar, Maths book left unheeded, I will hold back my words of admonishment and think that for a few seconds, he is bringing magic to his world.

Jangan Menyerah
(Song & Lyrics by D'Masiv)

Tak ada manusia
Yang terlahir sempurna
Jangan kau sesali
Segala yang telah terjadi

Kita pasti pernah
Dapatkan cobaan yang berat
Seakan hidup ini
Tak ada artinya lagi

Reff 1:
Syukuri apa yang ada
Hidup adalah anugerah
Tetap jalani hidup ini
Melakukan yang terbaik

Tak ada manusia
Yang terlahir sempurna
Jangan kau sesali
Segala yang telah terjadi

Back to Reff 1

Reff 2:
Tuhan pasti kan menunjukkan
Kebesaran dan kuasanya
Bagi hambanya yang sabar
Dan tak kenal Putus asa

Back to Reff 1
Back to Reff 2

Do I Have A Personality Disorder? No. :)

2009-07-27T10:14:00.001+08:00

Someone asked if 'Oxymoron' in my blog title meant I had a split personality or some kind of dissociative disorder. Let's just say it took me a while to grab my breath because I was laughing too hard.

Unfortunately I am absolutely and boringly free of any disorder. Sorry....:D
Okay, maybe I can be a little bit paranoid and a little bit fussy....and sometimes people complain I won't let up (translate that as 'being a nag') but it's only with stuff and issues I care about. Otherwise why would I bother?

Oxymoron in my blog title only refers to the conflict I sometimes feel as an individual living in a world with set expectations. I think that goes for pretty much everyone else on this planet, right? But most people just suck it up and live with it. I blog it...LOL...

Open SESAME! Oh Why Won't You Open???

2009-07-23T07:27:00.006+08:00

One analogy I like to use in handling situations in my life is DOORS. You know, the very cliched 'doors close, doors open' and the 'opportunity knocks, so open the door..'

Two days ago, I went to see an officer in a section that I was hoping would be able to 'help' me. Close friends know what I"m referring to. After an hour of discussion, I left his room with mixed feelings.

Let's just say, I am now looking at three doors. Bronze door, glass door and polished wood door. All these doors open to bright futures....but I would like to go through the bronze door...and the glass door is also not bad. But suddenly both seem to be shut fast. And it seems as if it's only the polished wood door that is open for me...sigh...

Just One Of Those Days....

2009-07-20T23:29:00.002+08:00

Today I feel heavy-hearted... but at the same time, I'm asking myself why I bother to FEEL anything.

I've been doing a lot of things lately and some of it isn't what I can call my 'core business'. But I do it anyway...cos someone has to do it, right? I don't ask for anything in return as I'm 'pulling one for the team'. I'm deliberately keeping this vague. So if you don't get it, never mind... I'm just letting off steam.

No matter what I do, it's just never good enough for SOMEONE. One may ask, why do you care? I ask myself that too. Maybe because most of the benefit goes to that someone???

:P

While I don't ask for rewards, neither do I ask for brickbats. I think that is too much.

English Teachers, On Guard!

2009-07-08T17:06:00.000+08:00

However the heat has merely shifted to English Language...

Published: Wednesday July 8, 2009 MYT 2:42:00 PM
Updated: Wednesday July 8, 2009 MYT 3:55:24 PM
Math and Science back to Bahasa, mother tongues (Update)

KUALA LUMPUR: The Cabinet has decided that the medium of instruction for Maths and Science will revert to Bahasa Malaysia in national schools and mother-tongue languages in national-type schools from 2012 onwards.
The reversal of the Teaching of Math and Science in English (PPSMI) policy will be done in stages, Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said on Wednesday.
He however added that there will be greater emphasis on learning the English language.
English literature will be re-introduced, as will subjects on grammar and composition.

Beginning 2012, students in Year One and Year Four in primary schools, and Form One and Form Four in secondary schools, will learn Math and Science in Bahasa Malaysia.
The change will not affect those in Form Six and Matriculation.
The two subjects will be taught in two languages until 2014 for other students, he said.
.......
On efforts to emphasise the learning of English, the number of English teachers would be increased by 13,933 -- retirees would be hired, as well as foreigners if need be.
Primary schools will also increase English classes by 90 minutes a week.

Get all these 'fascinating' updates at thestar.com.my!

Teaching of Maths & Science In English To Be Phased Out

2009-07-08T16:44:00.001+08:00

Well, they did it.

Wednesday July 8, 2009

Mathematics and Science to be taught in BM, vernacular languages

The Cabinet decided on Wednesday that Mathematics and Science will be taught in Bahasa Malaysia and vernacular languages in stages from 2012 onwards. Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, who announced this, however, said more emphasis would be placed on learning English. Follow the announcements on Twitter

It's a pity, actually...as I've always found it easier to learn Science in English. In university, I used to buy my Chemistry, Physics and Biology books in English so I could understand the concepts faster before attempting to answer the questions in Malay.

We are all at the mercy of our politicos.

Keyboard Shortcuts & Me

2009-07-02T17:09:00.000+08:00

I've been involved in many computer courses, as a participant and also a facilitator. Sometimes when I step into a roomful of ICT-aware young so-and-so's, they look at me and immediately dismiss me as an 'auntie' who probably needed to be taught how to hold a mouse. Auntie ah, the mouse you right-click and left-click like this one...

Ah but sometimes I do get my revenge.

You see, the kids nowadays learn computers from the cradle but their computers have mice and trackballs and joysticks. The computer I learned how to use way back when only had a keyboard. Mice back then were animals you chased with a broomstick..or a parang.

The first computers I used didn't have Windows. They had DOS. For those young 'uns out there, DOS has C prompts and A prompts and strings of code people memorized. When we migrated to Wordstar and Wordperfect, we also had to memorize commands such as CTRL-TAB or CTRL-F. If you mastered Wordperfect, you were almost a demigod because there would be nothing for you to use but a totally blank screen and the keyboard. Years of using such commands have made it almost second nature for me to use keys as shortcuts. Such as using CTRL-i to italicise this sentence.

But back to my revenge....ah yes... imagine a non-functioning mouse and a deadline in ten minutes. Suddenly auntie can save the day.

CTRL-P....!

Data Collection Glitches...

2009-06-26T10:12:00.002+08:00

My head hurts...

For the past one week, I've been dealing with what I call 'ICT glitches'. I've been collecting and compiling data from schools and for the most part, it's been a breeze. However, the glitches which sit like a pebble in my shoe are quite numerous.

I've been given data in MS Word format, despite the fact that I distributed an MS Excel template. Try copy and paste data from MS Word to MS Excel and multiply that by about 400 entries. I guarantee a frustrating time.

I've been given incomplete information, resulting in the following exchanges:

Me : But this is not complete.
X : Yes, I cannot get the info.
Me : WHY??
X : The individuals forgot their serial number.
Me : Isn't it in their document?
X : They don't know where they put their document.
Me : There are two documents that contain this info.
X : Yes, they cannot find either one.
Me : ><

A similar exchange:
Me : But this is not complete.
X : Yes, I cannot get the info.
Me : WHY??
X : The individuals forgot their serial number.
Me : Isn't it in their document?
X : Uh...they don't have the doc anymore.
Me : You mean, they saw their result and they crumpled the document into a ball and tossed it into the sky.
X : Uh...*deer-caught-in-the-spotlight-look*
Me : ><

But for me, the most painful is not an ICT glitch...it's a human glitch.

X : Good morning, may I know what I'm supposed to hand in?

ARGGGHHHH, I WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!

Some information has been modified or altered in the above post to protect the identities of certain people.

Two Months Out Of School

2009-06-24T20:06:00.000+08:00

I SAID I wouldn't say anything about which place I prefer yet. I SAID I had to give the new place a chance.

But sometimes when the writing bug hits you, it hits you. And so I want to say what I feel about my transfer to the new place.

First, the positive bits. Always mention the good stuff first... classic approach.
I am where things are decided at the district level and I can say things like I wanna be emcee for the Asian Schools Football Cup pretty please! Or organize things the way I want them done...such as the way data is compiled and analyzed. I can sit in an air conditioned room the whole day and make calls and surf the official websites (other sites are blocked...LOL...). The working hours is not really a factor as I spent the same number of hours (and MORE!) in SMKKL.

But the negative aspects...
There are no students to teach and no classes to conduct. And it's not the same as SMKKL. Yeah, I like that school and its lovable mish-mash of eccentric people (both teachers and students) and peculiar mix of bitter & sweet. Sigh..

After having tasted the admin world (6 years in SPA) and school, I think I am someone who needs to teach.
Or maybe I just need a few more months..

The Ripple Effect : Part Two

2009-06-23T20:23:00.002+08:00

There are positive ripples...and there are negative ripples.

A case in point is a friend of mine, who did something she believed
was right for her. Unfortunately the majority didn't view it as positively as she did. And till today, whatever she does that resembles the old action is seen as suspect. And she is treated accordingly.

What is happening to her is kinda like ripples that keep destroying as they go on and on.

Some may say, who dares to judge? But then again, we all live in a society. This society needs rules in order to function properly. And these rules are guarded closely...sometimes even viciously. The alternative, you see, is chaos. Well, at least I think so.

That is why we should be careful about the things we do and the things we say. They have a way of living on ... way beyond our own short memories.

Today too, I heard this during a briefing :

When you change your thinking, you change your beliefs.
When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations.
When you change your expectations, you change your attitude.
When you change your attitude, you change your behaviour.
When you change your behaviour, you change your performance.
When you change your performance, you change your life.

I wish I could tell this to that friend of mine.

Form Six Teachers In Turmoil

2009-06-20T00:21:00.000+08:00

On the 22nd of June 2009, 105 teachers from Kota Kinabalu (including Penampang) will be sitting in KK HIgh School Auditorium, waiting to receive their letters and waiting to be given their briefing.

On the same day, a few hundred others will be OUTSIDE said auditorium, feeling all kinds of emotions. I foresee emotions such as disappointment, anger, despondency, envy. bafflement, jealousy, fury... distress.

And afterwards, this turmoil will cause problems in school :P No need for me to elaborate.

The moral of the story : plan better next time before one implements something.

Angels In Our Lives

2009-06-03T10:30:00.003+08:00

I've had angels in my world all my life....

They manifest themselves in ...
C who calls me up to 'blast' me about things I do (which I don't always appreciate...heh heh)
L who talks about swords, prayers and angels :D
A who gave me a much-needed push ;) in 2003
AD who gave me a wake-up call about my relationship with God
J who got me involved in debates a long long time ago
JJ who kept me sane and on-track during my Masters program
H who drinks coffee with me and listens listens listens

.... oh, so many earth angels...

And now my latest angel just called me up to offer a course to help... of all people, K, a person close to me. Really out of the blue and a welcome surprise to start off my day.

And the added 'benefit'...K would only attend the course if I went along. How could I refuse such an opportunity?

The Ripple Effect As Postulated By Roslyn :)

2009-05-30T22:31:00.001+08:00

Today, ripples are on my mind ;)

Sometimes in the course of my work (or fun!), someone asks why I bother to do such and such. Like why bother to blow up twenty balloons for a nephew who is not having a birthday party. Or why bother to talk to someone who doesn't want to listen. Well, I do some of the tiny insignificant things I do because of ripples.

The twenty balloons may 'kill' me (blow up this many and you will know what I mean!)
or the 'deaf' friend may go his way anyway (& I have wasted my breath!) but...

The kid will be happy and stay happy for a few days...
The 'deaf' friend may remember my words one day...when the time is right.

And who knows what may happen or what may be averted?

A friend shared some realizations about prayer with me which made me sit up and think hard about my own prayer life. Then the changes in me caught the attention of other people, who asked and they too sat up and thought hard.

It never hurts to share... the worst thing that can happen is someone doesn't care. But the best thing that can happen is RIPPLES...

So why not create a ripple a day? It's sure to lessen the blues in this world...!

Be Careful What Door You Open

2009-05-21T22:54:00.001+08:00

Ever heard of the saying,"Be careful what you wish for...you just may get it."?

Well, right now I'm thinking of "Be careful what door you open...you just may not be able to close it."

I opened a door and now I'm thinking of closing it. But the problem is... I don't think it can be closed. And even if I close it, I fear that like Pandora's Box, what's done is done.

So now what does one do when one has taken a step down a certain path and one can't turn back?

I suppose one just continues on down that path.

I used to tell my friends (and smugly at that!) that I would never take a step down a path if I don't like what lies at the end of that path. Well, I wince now at my arrogance. For many a time no one knows what is at the end of the path.

Sh*t.

Weekend of Food and Laughter

2009-05-18T16:34:00.002+08:00

Had a great weekend...!

Saturday was hubby's birthday so we went to have buffet lunch. Son was, as usual, all upbeat about the smorgasbord of dishes on display (paying special attention to the ices and jellies). Tried taking pictures of hubby but he wouldn't cooperate so I focused on son instead. The sweetie loved mugging for the camera! Lunch was a combo of feasting and entertainment ;)

Sunday was a really packed day. Promised mum that I'd help out at the food fair in church so I stood (!) on duty at the cake stall till noon. After hours of handling cakes of all sorts (cinnamon, butter, honeycomb, chocolate moist, sponge) and cookies and biscuits etcetera etcetera, I had had my FILL of the sweet stuff. And imagine trying to answer questions like "Is this sweet? How sweet?" and "Is this delicious?". But at the same time, I had the opportunity to meet so many old friends (such as Juliana, Walter and Winston) By one p.m,, I was almost dead on my feet and yet I had another appointment.... a fun one! A friend was celebrating her baby's full moon at Langkah Syabas and I had only an hour to quickly freshen up and start driving.

All I can say is... when life offers you great food, wonderful ambience and stimulating company, you can't complain!

I'd like to say more, but I'm too mentally exhausted to elaborate... so the pictures will just have to do.

When Pain Is Good For You...

2009-05-16T22:53:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time, I stood at a fork in my life. Should I walk down the 'safe' road or should I try the path that looked thorny and rocky? Shades of Robert Frost....:)

Safe road meant safe heart, minimal problems and serene life. No fears, no worries. Thorny path meant possible hurt and potential flame out. Plenty of angst and lots of 'wasted' energy. But I thought that if I continued down that safe road, I'd always think of 'what if'. What if I took that thorny path and never regretted it? What if things turned out well for me? Wasn't the potential happiness worth the risk?

And so I took that fateful first step down 'the path less travelled by'. Did I feel hurt? Did I 'waste' time and energy in upset and anger? Yes, yes and yes... but just as I experienced wrenching lows, I also felt over-arching joy. And I learned something about myself. When I had felt the bitter of pain and disappointment, I learned to appreciate deeply the happy times I had and the people in my life. I don't think I would have been so appreciative if I had not had those hurtful times.

Paradox of life.

How To Handle A Broken Heart

2009-05-16T20:56:00.001+08:00

A darling friend asked in mournful tones,"Did he ever really care for me? Did he ever really love me?"

Ah yes, another broken heart. I imagine the pain is like a piece of glass shattering, all the shards flying, ripping, cutting, slashing... rebounding upon itself and tearing new wounds over and over again... you may even feel as if you'll never be whole again, as if the pieces can never come together again...

A painful story repeated , all over the world, throughout the centuries.... crossing all boundaries; skin colour, castes, .... It's such a common story, yet awful in its freshness and its totality to the sufferer.

After so many years listening to other friends, handling my own little 'breakages' and drinking so many mugs of Nescafe (panacea for all ills!), I have learned that there is no fixing a broken heart. The best one can do is to mourn the loss of dreams & hopes, cry a little (or a lot!), drink lots of coffee (or whatever) and remember the best of the other person. There is no point in remembering the bad for it only embitters you. But it's worth remembering the joy and laughter because for a short period of time, that other person made you the best that you can be.

James M. Barrie had this to say about love : If you have it, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.

So a broken heart means that you love.... be happy that you CAN love...and give yourself time to mourn. After that, pick yourself up and live. Then love again.

Disgruntled Teachers : Speak Up!

2009-05-13T18:58:00.001+08:00

In today's News Straits Times...

KUALA LUMPUR: The Education Ministry wants to hear from disgruntled teachers.

They have been asked to submit their complaints to the ministry through their respective unions.

Education Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said during his meeting with various teaching unions last Friday, among the issues raised were the improvement of the teaching profession and the welfare of teachers.

"It was a very cordial meeting. I have suggested that they submit their views formally and from time to time we will look into them as we want to see those in the profession not only honourable but happy."

Muhyiddin, who is also the deputy prime minister, said this after a visit to the Education Ministry's educational technology division at Bukit Kiara yesterday. The visit was to find out the progress in the use of Information Communications Technology (ICT) in the education system.
Teachers have long complained about their heavy workload, as besides teaching, they are burdened with a lot of paperwork.

On the issue of heavy workload, Muhyiddin said he is aware teachers have a heavy responsibility to impart knowledge to young Malaysians.

"I am keen to have a look at the present situation and see what can be done to improve their spirit and commitment to teach," he said.

Speak up? Speak up????
We've been screaming for the past few decades but no one has ever paid much attention! I'm not too hopeful now...

Dealing With Data and People

2009-05-13T15:20:00.001+08:00

My head is aching and my eyes are red....

I've been downloading excel files from my inbox for the past three days and copying the data from each file into a master file. And in the midst of all the data crunching, I get my patience tested.

Test One
Mr X : Hello, this is Mr X from School PQR. Actually what is it that you want?
Me : May I know who attended the briefing two weeks ago?
Mr X : I did. But I'm not sure what you want.
Me : (pauses to find a chair to sit down and takes a deep breath). Okay, Mr X, do you have the CD?
Mr X : Have to open the CD ah? Can't you just tell me....?
Me : Okay, when you open the CD, you'll find four folders. Click open Folder entitled Program MNO, then click open Folder entitled...
Mr X : Wait wait... let me find a computer. Wait ah... you don't mind, do you?
Me : No............................................. I don't mind.

Test Two
Me : Hello, Mr W. I am Pn. Roslyn from XXX. I received the CD from your school but there's no data in it.
Mr W : Really? When I checked it, it was okay.
Me : Okay, well, whatever it is, I need the data. Can you email it to me?
Mr W : I'll go over this afternoon.
Me : Thanks.

A few hours later....
Mr W : Hi. Here's another CD.
Me : Okay, thanks. (inserts CD in computer). Mr W, there's nothing here.
Mr W : Huh??? That's strange.
Me : Did you burn it into the CD?
Mr W : Burn it?
Me : Yes,... burn it.
Mr W : No, I just clicked on 'send it ...'
Me : You need to BURN it into the CD.

Silence.

Mr W : Can I email it to you tomorrow morning?
Me : That would be great.

Test Three
Me : Hello, Mrs Q. I am Pn Roslyn from XXX. I tried to open your diskette (!!!) to get the excel file but I couldn't.
Mrs Q : That's strange. I could open it here in my school.
Me : Yes... but I have tried opening it in two of our office computers. I cannot access the data. Can you email a copy to me?
Mrs Q : Okay la... tomorrow ah? I don't have internet at home.

Test Four
Mrs J : Hello, Pn Roslyn, I have a problem. I don't know how to make the graphs appear.
Me : The graphs are auto-generated. Just key in the data.
Mrs J : But where are the graphs? .They appear where?
Me : Are you in front of the computer?
Mrs J : Need to open the computer ah? I just shut it down.
Me : Errr... okay, . I'll just explain it then.
Mrs J : Ya.. better like that.
Me : When you open the excel file, there are worksheets....
Mrs J : Hahhh???
Me : You know, the little names at the bottom of the spreadsheet. You can click to see different pages?
Mrs J : Oh ya...
Me : Well, the first worksheet is entitled JXH, the second is TGH.... so the graphs are on the fifth worksheet....
Mrs J : *white noise*
Me : Hello? Mrs J?
Mrs J : Wait, I'm switching on the computer.

I N E E D P A N A D O L!

Auntie, What Kind Of Man Should I Look For?

2009-05-10T21:07:00.003+08:00

Auntie, what kind of man should I look for?

I stared at my niece, mind blank. She looked back at me expectantly, curious nut-brown eyes fringed by black lashes...just perfect to snare some unsuspecting male, I thought. Though she was a mite young. But I suppose better for such a question to be answered at a young age than at too late an age. Imagine wading through a river of testosterone, getting tumbled left and right and finally yelling out,"What am I looking for????"

I suppose she wasn't asking her mother because Mummy has an agenda.

So what should I say without upsetting the parents and yet giving her a safe guideline to follow?

After some fast thinking, this is what I ended up saying.

There is no one fool proof method but this is what you could look for.
a) He should be resourceful. He need not have all the answers but he should know how to find them.
b) He should be resilient. If everything is taken away from him, can he get up and start again?
c) He should be humble. Pride goeth before a fall.
d) He should have respect for his mother or for older women. That will tell you his attitude towards women and consequently, an idea of how he will treat you.
e) He should have a healthy respect for money and its friends (credit cards etc).
f) He should like children. Otherwise you will have problems when you have children of your own. However this can be overlooked if both of you do not plan to have children. Then he should like animals ;)

Niece began to look glassy-eyed at this point.

So I asked,"What do YOU want?"

She answered,"I just want Hugh Jackman."

Ooooo-kay. Well. All righty, you can have Hugh Jackman. He's on the XMen CDs.

Niece smiled and went off.

Hmmm....

Realizations Of A Former Penolong Kanan

2009-05-09T22:40:00.003+08:00

I promised myself I'd create a list of realizations/ideas/strategies for penolong kanan (senior assistants) once I had enough experience as one. Well, since I've been transferred, I won't have any more time to gather experience. Therefore below is the List compiled by one with only 28 months' experience.

a) Remember always that you are dealing with people. They are not unfeeling documents that can be filed away. Take time to win their trust. Take the effort to keep their trust. Take pains to find out what makes them tick. Without the staff backing you up, you are like a ship standing dead in the water.

b) Begin the day with a smile. And try to remember that no staff ever begins their day by thinking,"What rule shall I break today?" So whenever I face a problem with staff, I will always ask myself why this person is doing this and what could be influencing his or her actions. I dare to say that in my 28 months, I have yet to meet a person who deliberately sets out to break the rules. There will always be a reason behind their actions, even if it's something as simple as procrastination or lack of respect. With proper diagnosis, there will be accurate medication. Even if that medication has to be a gentle reminder in the form of a memo.

c) Rules are to be kept. There should never be one set of rules for the staff and another set for yourself. The staff are intelligent observant thinking beings. Once they see that you do not follow the very rules you safeguard, you will begin to lose their respect. I had a problem with this one when I faced the dilemma of sticking to rules and winning the support of an important person. In the end, the situation became untenable and I chose to stick to the rules. I've never regretted the choice as gradually that important person (with a double set of rules) lost support among the teachers.

d) Do not have favourites on the staff. No matter how you may argue that you will be neutral and you won't play favourites, the most important thing is you must be SEEN to be neutral. This may mean that you have to sit with different groups every time you go to the canteen. Or you don't eat at the canteen at all. However eating with staff is good for food always helps create bonds among people :)

e) Always write down what you plan to say during a speech or a meeting. There will be less possibility of you saying something upsetting. This is important for once you have hurt people's feelings, it is very very difficult to heal wounds. Not impossible but it will take precious time. I try to prepare powerpoint slides of whatever I intend to deliver during a meeting or briefing as I can upload it into the school website or online group for records or future viewing. This will also help inform those who are unable to attend the meeting or briefing.

f) Be transparent in all you do. Or in most things you do. Staff will be happier when they know what you are doing, how you are doing it and what part they play in it.

g) When you allocate duties, make sure the staff have a list of steps to be taken. Talking about it won't be good enough for after the third sentence, everyone would have forgotten what the first sentence was. Besides, when a problem arises, it is very easy to just open the 'senarai tugas' and check whose duty it was supposed to be.

h) Tomorrow will always be a better day. So take heart.

Finding The Perfect Mate

2009-05-09T21:24:00.004+08:00

A friend called me up recently to bemoan the fact of his single status. "How do I find that one perfect girl???"

Such an ageless question. I think for as long as there are people alive on this planet (and off!), this will always be a question echoing in minds and hearts. Whether the query is from a male or female.

As someone who has been through that wringer and emerged relatively unscathed (with just a scratch or ten), I can safely say...to all those who are still 'suffering', "Have faith and be patient...it's not going to be easy, confronting all those well-meaning ppl who keep tsking and clucking,"Why are you being so choosy...blah blah blah..." What do they know anyway?

But, as always, the worst 'critic' is yourself.

I made it easier for myself during my single days by holding to a few principles:

1) Everyone is my friend and all of them are potential fun planners & partners :)

2) To be married to the wrong person is a million times worse than to be single and having fun. So count your blessings!

3) Have faith in God's plan. He has something in mind for you. You just need to be open and silent long enough to hear Him.

4) Have faith in yourself. You're a terrific person who just hasn't been found by your life partner yet!

5) Life is too short for worries... so don't waste it!

As consolation for those who are still single...married life isn't all roses, you know. But...why waste time focusing on the negative bits?

As for finding the 'perfect' person...I'd like to know if there IS such a person. What I have come to realize (for myself!) is that I needed to find someone who I could share my life, my jokes, my happiness and my sorrows with. At the same time, I needed to be able to accept his faults. Besides I have plenty of my own faults for HIM to accept.

I found out early on that I 'scared' quite a number of men off. Whether it was with my strong personality or ... surprise surprise...the place I originated from. Friends who know me will understand ... ha ha ha.. However, my answer to that has always been "It's their loss."

I doubt a perfect person exists. But this is something only an individual will be able to answer or find out for himself or herself. Different strokes for different folks, I always say.

Ancestors...

2009-05-08T23:30:00.001+08:00

All my life, people keep taking me for a Chinese. And I keep saying I am not a Chinese. But I cannot deny the fact that I do have some Chinese blood.

My great grandfather was a Seiyap (or Sze Yup or Siyi) who arrived in Sabah with two other brothers. He met my great-grandmother and they settled in Papar. But I heard tell that his family was so angry with him that they cut all ties. Well, as I wasn't allowed to find my Chinese relatives, I have no way to confirm that story.

But sometimes when I walk down a street and I look into a face that looks vaguely like my own, I do wonder...

Labour Day High Tea

2009-05-02T12:25:00.003+08:00

Sometimes in our busy lives, it is good to take some time out just to shoot the breeze with friends.

Yesterday, I went for high tea with friends of the debating tendency :) We laughed, we ate, we made lots of noise, we viewed videos of past debates...

And to sum it up, Henry said,"God, you're all so terrible!"

;)

Back : L-R : me, Sibyl, Susan
Front : L-R : Audrey, Aloysia

Back : Susan
Front : L-R : me, Eric, Henry, Audrey

Mad World

2009-04-29T22:11:00.002+08:00

This is sung by Gary Jules...

:(

What Happens When Friends Make 'Dumb' Decisions

2009-04-24T21:49:00.001+08:00

Nothing happens. To you, anyway.

The best thing you can do is just sit by them and hold their hand. Maybe make some coffee.

How Can One Make The Best Decision

2009-04-24T21:47:00.002+08:00

One of the questions I always get from people around me is..."What do I do now? How do I decide?" Such a common cry...

Decisions ...
they can drive us mad
they can bring us to grief
they can drive our successes...

Yet so many people don't know how to make the right decisions.

But is there a single formula for 'making the right decision'? Unfortunately...no.

I only know what works for me, which is usually a combination of approaches.

The first thing I do is pray to God for guidance. (religious approach)
The second is to gather as much info about the issue as I can from books, people etc. The idea is to reach some sort of 'critical mass'... (common sense approach)
The third is list down all my choices from 1 to 10 and start writing out the consequences for each choice. (classic counselling approach)
The fourth is cross out the 'dumb' or 'crazy' choices that have unacceptable consequences.
The fifth is pray ... and go to sleep. (Roslyn's approach)

By morning, the choice to make will always be obvious to me.

So then, I take the sixth step. I go around and ask friends for their opinions.
In the end, I confirm my choice...which is usually what I decided in the first place, though not always. So what is the point in asking people? Nothing... I just wanted to hear their opinions. And I wanted to see if their rationalizations would sway my thinking.

But, of course, the worst thing to do...is not to make any decision at all.

Treasuring The Moments In Our Lives

2009-04-23T12:42:00.003+08:00

Today is another one of those days when I wake with an ache in the head and a weight on the shoulders. I walk into the office and I see all the letters on the table and in my pigeonhole and slipped under the door. And chirpy people breeze by, carolling,"Don't forget tonight's function ah! You're in protocol!"

Sigh...

So to destress, I take some time out to write.

My friends who've been with me since primary school know that I write when I am stressed. I write letters, I write notes, I write stories... and now blog posts. So far, I've written 17 posts just for the month of April...out of a total of 26 for the whole year so far.

...the best of times, the worst of times...

April 2009 is going to stand out in my thoughts for a long time to come....:/

Today I want to write about people and expectations. Everyone has expectations...of themselves and of others. And most people will have high expectations of friends or colleagues perceived to be a high achiever. Which, actually, is a natural thing. I, as a former Head of Unit and former Senior Assistant, am guilty of this.

I use the word 'guilty' because sometimes in the pursuit of an objective, I can forget that the person I am pushing (maybe, to the very brink) is still a human being; dealing with fears, insecurities, priorities and a frail human heart. He or she too has loves, hates, wants, needs...

So, when I am reminded, I back off and allow that person to be a child, a boy, a man or a woman...to be what they are, and not what they have the potential to be.

I think one of the most precious skills in life is to learn how to kick back and relax in the moment. For in the very next heartbeat, that moment is forever lost.

Tangential Shifts

2009-04-22T22:25:00.001+08:00

Sometimes things happen and your life goes off at a tangent along a different path... you're not quite sure what happened but suddenly priorities change and you feel a slight but definite shift in your thinking.

You wonder if this is right. But you continue on down that path.

In the meantime, life goes on... what? did you think it was going to stop for you????

Ha ha ha ha... d.a.

I Have The Right To Be Depressed!

2009-04-21T21:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel fed up.
Sometimes I feel like I want to shout at the world.

Why must I be happy all the time?
Why must I be cheerful all the time?

Don't I have the right to get angry sometimes?
Can't I sulk and pout and say "Enough!"

Why can't I shut the door sometimes and
....sink into a depression?
....wallow in a pool of misery?
....brood in my wretchedness?

Is it a crime? Is it something I'm not allowed to do?

You say,"NO, you of all people cannot be depressed!"
But why why why...???

I WANT to be depressed...
I have the RIGHT to be depressed.

Just for a short while.

*&%&@*

Only Two Days And I'm Beat!

2009-04-21T18:44:00.001+08:00

It's my second day in the new job and I'm dog-tired.

First day : Meeting with KPM and JPN officers from 8 in the morning till 5 in the evening. I only left around 5.45 because I was getting info about my scope of duties. Spent the night preparing 22 files and burning 22 CDs for Tuesday meeting.

Second day : Meeting with secondary school senior assistants and data officers (8.30 to 10.30 am). Internal meeting to plan the year's projects from 3 pm to 4.30 pm. Spent one hour in my room preparing files for Wednesday's meeting. EO asked if I was informed that I was involved in the function on Thursday night (big VIP's welcome). I just smiled weakly at her over my armful of files, CDs, LCD projector, laptop and purse.

Am sitting at the PC right now wrangling two CD burners.

Third Day Plan :
8.30 - 10.30 am : meeting with primary school senior assistants and data officers (location : Inanam)
8.30 am : meeting to plan Thursday night's function (location : office)
8.30 - 5 pm : meeting in SPA for all Maths and Science officers (location : SPA)

CLONING TIPS, ANYONE?????????????????????????

:P

Royal Commonwealth Essay Competition 2009 Latest Status

2009-04-17T19:48:00.002+08:00

I keep getting emails and messages about this competition but unfortunately I'm not affiliated in any way to the competition or the society. I merely blogged about it.

However, this may be happening because the essay website URL changed. And not everyone knows how to use Google.

So for those who want to find out about the essay, please go to http://www.thercs.org/society/177 or email your queries to essay@rcsint.org. It doesn't look like the results are available at this point in time.

As for me, I'm just an English teacher working in Sabah, the northern part of Borneo. About as far away from London as it is possible to get :)

A Death ... But Not Of A Man.

2009-04-17T00:28:00.003+08:00

A man died yesterday. I didn't know him that well. I may have met him only a handful of times. What I remember was that he was a man you never forgot. All he had to do was enter a room and everyone would turn to look. He had a love of life that shone through in his laughter and his words.

But he died today and now I have a friend who is devastated. She too has a similar love of life. I admire her for her zest for living and just overall in-your-face vitality. But her grief is so strong.... I am so sad...I do not grieve for him for I barely knew him. Besides he is already 'safe' in the other world. I grieve for her...my tears are for a woman left behind. I have faith in her strength and I know she will get through this. But what version of her will emerge at the other end of this tunnel of pain? I am selfish because I still want the old fresh and mouthy lady. I just fear that she may never be the same.

:`(

Would I Want To Be Young Again?

2009-04-14T23:05:00.002+08:00

Trying out a new widget...Meebo. Useful...and helps me keep track of all my contacts in multiple IMs. In fact, I'm chatting with an old friend right now.

Topic now is "Would we want to relive our life? Would we want to be 15 again? Or 25? :)

To be 15 means I'd be back in Form Three, suffering exams and books and maths sums and history facts...I'd be in St Francis Convent, involved in mass drills under the sun, swinging ribbons to marching music. I'd be spending my afternoons finishing book after book of past year exam questions. Oh no, I'd never want to be 15 again.

To be 25 means being a young teacher in La Salle, being assigned all the tasks no senior teacher wanted. Like DEBATE! Hahhaha...and afternoon practices and weekend camps. I'd get to be secretary of the PTA. I'd be asked to be head of the Davies sports house or assistant to the head. Now that would mean long hours in the field, yelling at the students to run faster, jump higher or just shout louder. I'd be asked to drive the school van...funny no one ever asked me if I could drive it. I had fun...but nah, I wouldn't want to be 25 again. Too little pay and too little say :)

I think I'd rather be the age I am now. People listen to what I say...if only because I'm older than most of them :) I also have lots of memories and experiences in my heart, mind and soul. And oh yeah I get more money in the pay packet!

It's hard to believe that in ten more years, we'll both be half a century old. Well, she's a bit younger ...but thereabouts. Malaysian women are supposed to die around the age of 80. So I've got at least 40 more years to live....whoa, so many more things that I can do... unless I get called home earlier.

:)